the first day of chinese new year......

it has been raining the whole of eve and continued through the night......( almost turning me into a popsicle despite the fact that i only slept with the fan on and had a blanket ) and the rain has finally stopped...horray!....i hope it does not rain later.........at any rate....i will still have to go visiting.....i hope i get to have my meals at home or just some hawker place.........please please.......i hate eating at other peoples' house....because it is just so weird and uncomfortable?!.......actually not much of a choice i have there.......it was been happening and always happens.......just see how it goes.......oh yeah......i am supposed to be nice haha.......tried achieving that by wishing my neighbour happy new year........it was not very difficult....but i am wondering about yj......that moron...it is just so unfair.......

things to do...........
1. shower
2. read the papers

was walking back from the ktichen when i heard the horscope guy on the televison......it seems that i will not have a very good year ahead......who cares.......if i were to believe everything i have heard......i would have gone crazy long ago already.......anyway......i only choose to believe in the nice things he said....which is almost nil.......oh man......what a way to start the year.......but i just heard that i am supposed to travel by sea.....work hard in silence.......oh no....i cannot remember the rest.........what the hell man.......such a short term memory.......that is bad.......hehe

today is chinese new year........i am supposed to be doing all the right things.......so.......

oh....it is chinese new year.........hahahaha.....i will have just a few resolutions man......this is getting stupid.......i make them every year and screw them up the next day........haha

1. be nice to people who have tried being nice to me or are nice to me......................
2. try to keep the first one
3. just train and study real hard....
4. do not worry to much
5. 4 sounds damn horrible so i just write one more line........hahaha

that is all i guess.....

i have a feeling i have pissed someone off.....if you are pissed just tell me......i asked......but i did not get an answer.......maybe i just getting neurotic.......yar.....but just tell me......call me or something.......if not......then it is ok......

i think i am hooked on writing.....the more i write the less i talk......should i continue writing??......wonder if it is for the better or for the worse??????.......my cousin said that the more you use fuck the lesser you would feel its intensity......i guess it is true.....i am swearing way too much.......but it just keeps on coming....cannot be avoided......know what.....the people i really admired....even though they might have just forgotten me.......they were just truly fantastic......they did all the right things.....good in every and anything....you know........they had everything........and are having everything now......they have their careers set out already........probably going to be great people next time.......not a loser like me.....i am so depressed now......i wonder if they feel lucky.........have they ever really thought about it.....how they have everything.......i have thought about myself......maybe people would want to be like me??? maybe my results are a little better? but seriously.......no one would want to be like me....if they know me really well......because i am just a loser......

my civics tutor gave me a worksheet to complete......i wrote my ambition as none.......i lied.......i went around looking at the others......many wrote none.....many wrote "doctor".....i want to go to japan...or the united states....and work as a director......a game director......i have thought of it a long time.....i think everyone has an ambition.......i used to want to make it really damn big.....you know.....damn damn big.....like be really important and all.....i wanted and i still want but i cannot.......because i suck......i really wanted to be good in everything i do.....or at least satisfy my own expectations......you know......but i did not.....that feeling sucked.....yar...it was rotten....i have suffered one too many disappointment......that is why i am also on the verge of freaking out now......how many does it cost to shout???? maybe i am really just not a leader..........so i have not made up my mind......should i choose the path i would really enjoy.....or choose the one that......whatever.........

an eventful reunion dinner.....

the moronic hotplate cum steamboat device failed again.....last year....it tripped the circuit breaker.....this year i guess it was in a fucked up mood and tripped the cirucit breaker.....not once........twice...again...in the end.....mom and dad just boiled everything.....i think that piece of metal with all its wires should be thrown away.....1. it does not work......2. health hazard.......what the hell man......the red wine was terrible too...it was like totally tastless except for being extraordinarily sore........just burnt right through my tongue.....and i had to content myself with one whole glass of that ill smelling liquid.....i think wine just plain sucks.....prefer beer......but then again.......good old plain water is the BEST! i think people who likes alcohol are nuts.....haha.....how nice can alochol get? in my humble opinion.......not very nice.......i swear i will abstain from alcohol when i grow up......on the whole reunion dinner was quite nice......even the food was not that fantastic......i kind of like it......haha........

there is a sammi cheng and tony leung show on channel U right now......it started at 8.....was planning to watch it but......since i missed the starting bit....might as well miss the whole show.......i was sleeping......you see......i hope new year will go on and on and on......forever.......but it will not....then it is back to school again......while i was typing the last sentence.....i suddenly thought of the 'o's again......i am scared stiff....i tried to block it out but it was futile....it just keeps making circles inside my head.......appearing when i least expected......i think i will just heck care......all my miserable life......all my examinations......i go in with very little confidence.....people think that i will do well everytime......you know........i tell you......sometimes my own results surprise myself......i think i am a pathetic person......people always think that i am lying when i emerge from the exam hall saying die...because the results usually prove the contrary......however......i really am saying the truth.....i guess that is what they call different expectations.......i used to tell that to a very very very close person......in chinese......mei ge ren dou you bu tong de yao qiu.......hiazz

http://www.xuxule.com/cd/02/02-0189/02-0189-lyric-01.html

Katrina

katrina i cant stop looking in your eyes .
but my words dont come out straight .
i dont know what to say .
no . on monday i tell myself u gotta wait
dave , dont rush it . dont anticipate . take it slowly ,
it's ok . it's ok .
i just want a chance to know you to know the woman deep inside , yeah yeah(and) i dont wanna look back on life to see this missed opportunity . yeah yeah even at the risk of looking like a fool to you, on wednesday i casually walk on by to find that you're not there , i act like i dont care .
but on friday i catch a glimpse of you i tell myself dont hesitate , you just walk up and say hello ! say hello ! i just want a chance to know you to know the woman deep inside.
yeah yeah (and) i dont wanna look back on life to see this missed opportunity.yeah yeah (to get to know you)even at the risk of looking like a fool to you .
i just want a chance to know you to know the love you have inside , yeah yeah (and) i dont wanna look back on life to see this missed opportunity .
yeah yeah even at the risk of looking like a fool to you .
katrina will i ever know your heart ?

i think i am very screwed up......from primary school it went downhill all the way......what if i had done things in a different way......maybe i could have become somebody much more.......you know.......not like in this mess now......there are too many things i have done wrong......too many.......maybe if i was like more normal.....do things the teachers want you to do.....do things others want you to do......acted like i loved this so much....and loved that so much........then maybe i would not be what i am now.......which is nothing..........suck up more to people......pretended that i liked everyone around me......hiazzz.....pretended i liked the teachers......then maybe......just maybe......i could have been very pro.......but that is not the case.......because i acted the why i felt like acting.....which i think i will reget in time to come........

unbelievable.....i am home early....haha.....this is the earliest i think..at least for this year.......dropped by at my secondary school before going home......getting there was a challenge....it was rainy and all the taxis seemed to be either full or on call.....there was this poor guy....i only knew him by face......he became the scapegoat...too tired to tell the whole story.....but quite pitiful.....hiazzz
anyway....got to the place safety...and tipped the taxi driver, wished him happy new year.....he became quite friendly.....haha....never caught a glimpse of any teacher except the year head...the one that screwed me..because we arrived too late........heard some terrible news about the 'o's.....i am not thinking......fuck it........

had lunch with a bunch of people....does two count as a bunch? haha....then i went home....the rain did not stop......so i walked and walked when i could have just taken a bus......in the end.....i was drenched.....got home and burnt some paper money to grandparents i have never seen before.....oh well......hiazzz.......

oh man i wrote into chinese new year eve.......haha happy chinese new year eve......to myself......my family......and all the people reading this soory excuse for a post......i have school today.....i think i shall just go sleep hiazzz.........i enjoy writing here though........

i do not know when it started.....but i have been thinking of how to kill people in school......both in secondary school and in junior college......i think i have a problem.......i need the friends hotline number or something......because there is no one i can talk to you see......no one i can trust.....i feel sad for myself for being such an ass......

i have thought of using sniper rifles......machine guns.......grenades....the police will probably be called in.......my plan is to just dress in school uniform and sit in the middle of the LT and pretend it is not me.........

phew i feel great.......finally got that of my chest......i am happy.....people say i look piss all the time.....guess that iis the way i look.....i never choose to look the way i look.....tough luck.......

i think i should write everthing i feel down.......who gives a damn if you see..........i need to write to feel alive.....

should i study.......i am just to mentally drained to do something productive......do not even feel like touching my school bag......it amkes me sick.....arghhhhh.....i just want to write and write and write........and write until i fall asleep....i really am totally stressed out....just jaded....school really sucks....someone told me he sees me sitting at the side of the LT all the time......alone......i guess that is what i really want to be.......alone......when i am alone....i think i think better..concentrate better......and able to be myself......not bothering about preceptions of others......those kind of stuff........false fronts...and so on.......

"no man is an island"
i think that is incomplete....i think we are all islands.......connected to each other with bridges......each bridge is a reason by itself.......the more bridges you have with another island......the more reasons you have to be together.....the better connected you will be........i think i am demolishing all my bridges.......one by one by one....slowly....surely......then sooner or later....i will be an island......

newcastle won......i am really happy.....though they are not that good......i am just happy.......

what the hell....my brother just came back from the army camp.....looking very different....in what way i really cannot tell......not just the appearance....but just that he sort of grown up....yes.....the army make men real men........haha......did not really bother to talk much.....considering the fact that i will be in the same position in 2 years time.......i think i need not be so excited about army life....since it will hit me before i know it......haha

i still have not shower yet.....i am a stinking jackass.....

right now...i am in my room.....if i manage to keep track of my movements in the house.......i would dare say 99.9999% of my time at home is spent in this 3 by 4 box....with insects keep flying in from the damn windows......i have always wanted to put and insect net over all my windows......i think i shall do just that.....wonder what is the cost........and how am i suppose to throw stuff down........by the way i think the heaviest thing i have thrown was a D sized battery......i am nuts........haha

9.03pm......tick-tock.....tick-tock.......tick-tock........tick-tock........oh man.......i think i will come back later.........tick-tock.....tick-tock........tick-tock......tick-tock.......tick-tock........tick-tock.......tick-tock.......tick-tock......tick-tock.........i am sian.......tick-tock.......tick-tock.......wonder how will chinese new year be like......haha.....it is my favourite festival......why i do not know...........................tick-tock...........tick-tock............tick-tock

for 2 days in a row....I fall asleep with the television on...the computer on.....bag unpack.....and so on......i always tell myself just a 10 minutes nap..but in the end it is always hiazzz.....i do not know why i tell myself that...just to feel less gulity? lying to myself......haha that is pathetic.....

was in the toilet just now.....and suddenly i thought of my YMCA days..you know....those were one of the worse periods in my life...i remember camping near the door.......always at the door....it was locked....but still there was this tiny slit at the bottom of the door where you can see the outside world......you do not really see much......it was only like 1cm in width....but when someone walked passed you can see the shadow just fly by....that transient image of the outside..........i think i was piss with everyone there.....they were morons..idiots....the whole place was dumb.....no one did anything to me.....but i just did not like the place....there is no reason to like or dislike someone or someplace or something....it just comes naturally....you do not try and like something......that is changing yourself....that is bullshit crap....YA SO FUCK YOU EDWARD NG.......in the end i got so pissed i locked the teacher up.....in the toilet.....i was caught.......how i do not know........hiazzz

i think history is repeating itself......oh well......my class has an outing today......why am i calling it my...ironic.......do not see any point being there.....i think i am just a problem kid.....the people i get along with are few and right now.....not sure how many are backstabbing me......hiazzz..it is to hard to change...to tiring to do things to please everyone......to stupid to try even.......because you do not go around changing others to suit yourself......it just happens at first sight.......if you click.....you click........if you do not......too bad........that is how i feel anyway.......ya i am positively weird.......maybe i am going to be a hermit.....a loner.....haha.......oh well...who cares.......

I have just completed chemistry tutorial 1........horrayyyyy......I am happy....phewwww........even though I am not quite sure of the answers...I think I have tried my best........anyway I think my answers are correct too.....so there! Just need to tie up some of the loose ends.....hehe.....and I am done.....

School was painful today..literally.....I had gastric....that was terrible...It lasted for more than 2 hours......I was like crawling all around....how horrible.....almost died.....started during biology practical all the way until god knows when.....arghhh.......my god...
My class is having a class outing...to watch HERO......oh well.....I have badminton to play on that day......everyone seems very hyperactive.....on....hiazz

GP was again corny......the teacher was having problems with the OHP screen and someone yelled out IT rep........that is me......so....I went up to help......but then.......the GP rep got so excited......he rushed to help....he was just fooling around......but the teacher said RI boys have changed....becoming more and more helpful.........haha.......both of us were from RI......that was funny....I was not actually thinking of helping her......like I really am not very helpful.......but if she wants to think that way........no harm done right? Right......haha........

After school......I played badminton for 3 hours.....meet aaron who was mugging......I think I REALLY should control myself.....returned home to an empty house......which is at the moment still empty.......except for me of course.......and will continue to be empty until tomorrow.....I quite enjoy the peace.....gives me time to think.......and mug......

Still got to pack my bag....try doing maths tutorial 2......and then go to sleep......must wake up at 6am tomorrow.....how troublesome......hiazzz

Wondering whether mugging=doing homework, some people think they are the same....others think they are different.....how cares...........

for the first time....I enjoyed GP lesson today....there was a debate (not very heated) on whether women are allowed into mosques...and something about being gay.....haha......it was corny....i am facing difficulties in all my subjects...oh my....people say that it is because I nitpick...I think too much...too radical....but that has always been the way I studied......I wonder how people actually do work without knowing really thinking if they are doing it right....there surely would not be any sense of satisfaction at the end of it all....how lame can it get.....but sometimes....it can be very tiring to think.....very tiring....and I am tired.....I think I should just take it easy...but how easy?

I was with a bunch of people today and they were gossiping about this guy called A....I have heard stories about him.....not really nice things though....they recorded 22 love songs he sang.....heard it was some prank.....and burnt it into a CD......they were listening and joking about him.....then conicidentally A came walking by.....I wonder if he knew......I do not think so...

Read something today....searched the web for Socrates....I think he is really brilliant.....reading The Apology of Socrates....it is quite interesting..but I do not foresee myself going into philosophy.......haha

i need a ps2.....

games need 2 play
1.mgs 2
2.xenosaga
3.ff x
4.ff x-2

must first i hav maths....

finshed wretch GP....hahaha i am happy......old classmates asked mi out....but i am too sick 2 go......arghhhh....damn it......
dinner looks.....n i tink it is......in a word...disgusting.....everything is shades of white.....standard white....dark white..light white.....oh my oh my.....wat the hell am i toking abt....the virus/germ/bacteria/watever causing my sickness is attacking my brain.....not tt i hav much 2 begin wif...i tink i am nuts......haha..happily nuts.......i tink i will write in proper english from now on........but it will look weird though......damn it.......i shall go have dinner now......argh......and finish up whatever I have to do......

installed office 2000 liao.phew.....i can view all the docs now.......

i hav movies 2 watch...bulletproof monk.......infernal affairs.....if u r wondering.......they r on pirated VCDs.....hail the pirates......! i tink it is wrong but then.....too cheap 2 resist...maybe i am cheap....but dun u tink $20 million for acting is obscene.......the world is twisted.....hiazz....

i dun lyk the new door.....it is very heavy....looks unfriendly.....i prefer the old door....the new one has a restrainer....which means it shuts when you let go of it.......n tt veri irritating......

listening to evonne's xue hui......i lyk tt one.......

my html coding is pathetic.....i am outdated.....tried writing some codes for the blog.....gave up cos either i screw it......or i need a bk.......hiazzz

i tink some pple are misunderstood....by others..but dis pple dun bother 2 clarify everything.....then the others jump into conclusions n form opinions......soon......when they walk pass each other......nothing is said.......hiazz wat a pity.......isnt it tiring 2 try make others understand you......???

i am getting alot of spam......it is pure waste of time.....the filters r also not working veri well......do the spammers expect replies?.....

i tink i will go finihs my work......

install office 2000 now..finally

i am down wif cold......flu....sore throat gone....but i still feel sick.....i hate this feeling.......sian......still hav 2 complete tt irritating gp compre......no idea how 2 start......but still hav 2 finish it....i am on the border of insanity......driven nuts by hw.....dun tink i am alone though.....

life is quite meaningless now man..cos its hw n school n cca...n so on......wonder wat r other pple doing now? hear aaron is sleeping...hmmm...there isnt much stuff 2 do lor.......i mean nothing 2 add spice n excitment 2 life....it is jus day after day tt kinda stuff....same things day in day out....i am tired....but not sleeping....dunno y also.....was at this emulation website saw this

"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. " - Yogi Berra

i also dunno where i am going.....onli sch 2molo.....wat abt the bigger picture....i dunno.....future dunno.......everything dunno........never really sat down 2 tink.....probably i just wanna live each day 2 the fullest.....doing wat i wanna do...living life the way i tink it shuld be lived.......

but then society does not permit tt i guess....

remembered my sec 3 speech....sumting lyk this

i wonder if pple actually tink of wat they r doing......waking up early in the morning 2 go to sch.....den cca....den home ...slack..do hw....etc.....i tink dey do it without tinking.....cos it is wired into their brains.....wif each passing day........u are nearer 2 death.....but den pple just live the day without really doing something.....something tt is reallie worthwhile.....sumting which matches having 1 day lesser 2 live.....pple r just 2 caught up in the system......n when dey r gone....dey leave behind no trace of their existence.....how sad....i tink i am lyk tt 2. havnt done anyway....hiazzz

heard abt the water trials for sailing.....hiazz.....regret.....i shall not.....

wanted 2 write sumting.......but tink better not...hiazzzz........bye

almost puke doing maths.......at least i finished 2 sets of gp hw....but the maths is still undone......n i hav a compre.......i am veri shagged.....just wanna go sleep........y so much hw.......arghhhhh.....

vommmiiiiiitttttttttt blood......

reached home liao....got my haircut.......$12....sumone shuld complain 2 case.....profiteering like siao.......***** dropout how sad.........
arghhhhh asked to play poooolllll......NO I MUST FINISH HW first....ARGHHHHHHH help........

okok.......my plan......finish at least 2 sets of gp hw......then go out at nite......k? k.but i got maths/chem/phys/bio arghhhhh damn sian

tink aaron
tink aaron
tink aaron
tink aaron
tink aaron........damn.........
hope they drown...........HAHAHAHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOOH.............tink aaron......damn

juz got home......out for hair cut later.....then shower.....

i MUST AT LEAST......do my keyword concept map n compare 2 passages.... MUST....den try doing compre.....tts it for gp.....hahaha

hav a sore throat again....sian......chee keong taking sats 2dae.....gd luck 2 him

my house has a new door.....it is dark brown in colour..but hav a tint of red......like rosewood......but not .....haha wat cock i toking.....hiazz it stinks cos of the new paint......

sumting is wrong with my hp.....the batt is super weak....lasts onli 2daes.....hmmmm.....it is irritating...wonder if i can charge my phone in sch.......shall look for a gd place......2 bad no classroom or easier hiazzzz.......

time is up.....going out AGAIN hiazzzzzzz......

flipped thru partial fractions......i tink i understand liao......gonna attempt tutorial later.......hav 2 be in sch tomolo......sian si.......my bro called from camp......he sounded bored.......mum cried again.....n again........n again........lost track of how many time......it is irritating.........ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
sumone asked mi abt cca again.....oh god.........

2molo must go sch wat the helll wat the hell man!

wat a day man.........gp got a lot of hw.....shit man........damn it.......even more than phys....bio....chem and maths....n i hate gp the most......sian si.....hiazzzz.....

today was some final thing for the og......got kicked out in the first round in "the weakest link".............goes to show how impt PR skills are....haha.......everyone was lyk against us.....dunno y.......hmmmmm......worth pondering.....

den went for dinner which never happened......went to the first amt machine......did not accept my card...it was DBS N POST......wat the hell man.......screw them.......when to the UOB one......oh my god......I lyk c the screen wrongly lor.......den i thought i pressed the "other withdrawals" button.....planned to draw 10 bucks......found out my mistake....thought never mind onli 2 50 dollar note will come out......20 came out in the end.......my god......tt 1000.......never carried so much in my life except at sim lim.....arghh....immediately called home....no dinner.....went home with senior (chee keong)....complained 2gether about the idiots at sailing......shuld hav gone the trials......regetting a little now.......remainder of journey was damn uneasy.......got home eat instant noodles n watched tv.....i tink i am quite a gd cook.......hahaha......den exercised......den shoowered....den writing.......

my class pple lyk yanzi(cousin in my class) and jay.......listening 2 yanzi's lastest album......waste my $$......shuld i do gp hw......

i might do
1.gp hw
2.partial fractions
3.phys tutorial

chem i do til teacher stop.......bio nothing....

yesterday mug on the bed n fall asleep haha........loseristic.........tt my day.....

a certain sumone said "he dun trust anyone of them".......wonder "them" refers to who.....man........smart smart........

empiric= personal who relies on experiments or observation
intuitionist=person who has knowlege or preception not gain from reasoning.....

i tink i am an empiric person........

i understand a lot of chem lecture todae........haha......felt great......dunno if it is the mugging or if it is easy.......i will mug more later
missed mugging wif aaron todae.....damn.......4got he had jap......played badminton after 5 10...pe was sian......tomolo have pe again.......i tink i will die haha.......

i will i hav not put in much effort in studying......hav to up it even more.....haha..........
i am done wif my tool theory......i tink there is nothing more i can say man......siannnnnnn......

my class does stupid tings....they laugh at everything...probably life is happier tt way...hiazz.....maybe i dun hav a heavy sense of humour

i shall go shower.....then mug from 9pm onwards.......

just read sumone's blog......notice i never use frens anymore.......hmmmm......in fact i tink it is weird 2 use tt word.....cos u never noe wat your "fren" might be tinking.....maybe plotting 2 kill u....or sumting......weird weird........this person....says my theory is in her head......hmmmmm i tink my theory make sense......

the veri fact tt u wanna be frens wif sumone is because there is a mutual/unilateral need for accompany.......tt the first step to making use of the tool u juz bought......haha.........u dun go up to a stranger to befriend him/her juz cos u wanna make friends....rite impossible 2 do tt without reason.............

for example........classmates.......cos u meet them everyday u need someone to tok 2 in class......to discuss homework........to help u do stuff.....borrow stuff etc.....if u need not meet them.....no need their help......company......blah.......den y would u make frens with den?tt y strangers exist......cos....strangers r the set of pple tt u no need 2 make use of.....tools r the other set......i tink i make sense here......no one can rebut this....i will write it clearer next time ......gtg slp....

i typed sumting but it disappeared.........shit

i dun understand the lecutures......it is sickening........a lot of pple r cheonging.......reallie hard.......i will cheong 2......i tink the best way 2 kill a person is to poison him/her........no need 2 dirty hands haha......look for the water supply n pour sum reallie potent stuff inside.......everyone who uses water in sch will die hahaha.......

pple tinks i am piss wif them? y? i dunno.....i look piss ? cos i am really piss.....wats there 2 be happy abt? if u r not happy......den u are piss lar.......quite simple rite......

checked out the word.....it is lexical=of or relating to items of vocab in a lang.......my gp teacher is reallie pro...but i am terrified of her......screwed someone up badly.......wah kao.....damn pitiful.....hiazzz......got her hw.......but didnt wanna do....did maths,chem,bio and phys instead........tink will complete the remainder of assign 2......hiazz

2molo hav pe....damn tired.......hope is running or sumting......better be slacker......my shoulder hurts.......tink it is old injury.........left hand still trembling.......haha........2molo ends at 5 10.......probably play badminton for 1 hr? den go mug.......aaron says we r the j1 pioneers....haha.....i dun mind.......but i tink i shuld get back into the mugging mode......i not reallie in the grove YET.......HAHA....but maybe i get kick out....so doesnt reallie matter rite..........?rite

anyway......today was crap TOO.....nothing nice happens......i just feel sian with everyone and everything.......i enjoy being alone.....when i can see no one.....i no need to bother abt anyone.......makes life less complicated..........pple shuld play MGS...reallie gd....he said some reallie gd stuff.........

i wonder y pple come online n stay away.....tt damn weird.......i dun do tt often.......almost never........y do i come online btw.....just 2 writing i guess......dis beating toking......when u tok......i watch ur words.......u tink wat u wanna say etc.....it damn tough.......cant pple just understand tt sumtimes......pple are pple? wat the hell........

class having an outing.....i tink it will be amazing if i go......haha
i dunno y i dun lyk them......2 be honest........they havent done anything 2 mi.......except for 1 guy.......hmmm.....i tink i hav a prob.....i need a doc soon......going insane.......never reallie sane anyway.......

y do pple lyk to tok so much?is it veri fun? is it veri cool? hmmmmmm........do they tink b4 they tok? toking when u dunno how 2 tok is bad.......shuld juz keep tt hole shut........

tool theory..........
some tools will pass their usefulness.....into the bin
some tools will come n you lost them thru accidents.........haizzzzzzz

veri sad 2 tink tt frens r juz tools tt reallier sad......onli the 2 away are on.......tt it.....i outlast every one ok sleep liao bye

gonna see tools again........i dun tink i wll ever use the word frens......i shall use tools instead

I DO THINGS THE WAY I LIKE.......U NOT HAPPY JUST FUCK OFF........DUN PICK ON MI.........

reading other pple blogs.......sum pple are as screwed as mi lor........3 left anyway.......she told mi she has 13.......damn........i dun care liao.......nothing is perfect is dis world lor......those tt look prefect.......are the most cunning of the lot.....pretend to be nice......charming.......friendly or tooly......all that crap.......bullshit

juz finish packing bag....did tt drinks stall man return mi money? hmmmmmmmmm i 4got hahaha......damn........sch sux.......life sux....everything sux.....sum pple might wanna just die............i tin ktt damn loseristic..........haha.......since everything sux rite........they shuld kill everyone else.......instead.......rite?

wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......
wat is ur cca.......

u noe......i wrote a post but i deleted it...cant risk posting it...den 2dae my teacher said the exact same thing......which i was complaining abt......wat the hell

oh great now there are 4 arghhhhhhhhhhh wat the hell everyone shuld juz sleep n leave mi bloody hell alone........
need some peace n quiet around........but 2 are away......1 is inivis.....so does tt count hmmmmmmm

msn no one liao.........haha
icq still got 3 fuckers.........

i am damn tired of answering pple questions...........

gonna wake up at 6 30am.....my dad wanna see the lastest i can reach sch.........haha

still 3 pple online wat the hellllll........go sleep liao..........fuck it..........

4got 2 write......got fined by the council 1 dollar.......no comments

my class wanna hav an outing......not going
my sec 4 class wanna hav a reunion......not going cos teacher

the onli person i can trust is myself.....haha........i am totally loyal 2 myself......i jiang the most yi qi 2 myself........
i am tired.......but not sleeping.....haha...........

addition 2 tool theory........

when you buy a new tool u tend to give it a lot of attention.....u dun reallie noe how 2 use it.......=new frens

everyone wears a mask.......i too.....haha......starting 2 get back my swearing habit......it is a gd way 2 relieve stress........will try not to tok 2 anyone 2dae 3 pple online now..........

today was fucked up...it was long and bloody boring.....
cannot find meaning of "laxicial" or sumting.......must have gotten spelling wrong......i sux at spelling anway..... can onli find laxative=an agent stimulating evacuation of faeces

anyway my hand is trembling damn badly from badminton 2dae......haha....on my way to electronics club when i saw pple playing.....when in2 hall signed up n play......how screwed can i get......

hao lian teachers are shitheads.........they dont even invent or own any knowledge......den act lyk their notes damn bloody big......they merely learnt the stuff earlier tt all........no big deal.....n if they really are tt great.......dey wouldnt be teachers......all those abt lyk teaching is bullshit.......but i do respect some teachers...........

mugged with aaron foo 2dae.....i tink it is quite gd.....always thought grp study was bad......but den......i still cant concentrate reading stuff with pple around.....so i just did hw......did maths from 2e-7......quite shiok...n can ask him cos he does work super fast....also i paid more attention in classes...n lectures.......though still sitting wif the same pple like vinz,shi,david.....haha...........i tink i will start mugging again.....fuck care those pple who tink they damn pro cos dey dun mug........wait till i.........nothing.........

developed my tool theory while showering (amazing)......frens r tools......
a versatile tool is one u lyk.....easy to use.......great to have= gd fren
a tool which 2 pick up anywhere n use juz cos u need it=fren
a tool u dont use cos u dont lyk its grip or watever=enemy

so essentially......i hav no frens.........i hav tools.......no frens.....but tools........n i am a tool 2 others 2......tt the way the world is.....

4 pple online now......gonna outlast all of them........

you noe wot.........i think yi4 qi4 is veri impt......we shuld all die for our frens........shuldnt go around calling everyone ur frens u noe......tt was wat i was telling sumone......it is true lar.......most pple have a motive.....others just treat you like a chatting machine......i will never betray my frens.....

sumone said dis 2 mi......."you're 2 attached to old frenz" is it wrong to be too attached......????
if so wat r frens for.......hiazzz.......me spouting shit due to class probs.........

i tink a fren is one........who you can trust totally.......tt all........simple yet difficult to find.......tinking back........i onli hav a few trusted pple.......dun think will find anymore hiazzz

one more resolution pay more attention to lectures and tutorials from NOW ON
ok gtg slp bye

gonna be 11.......troubled by many troubles.............

EDWARD NG FUCK YOU......IF I HAVE A BULLET I WILL PUT IT THRU YOUR FUCKING HEAD

my frens

1. veri accomplished swimmer
2. national youth ping pong player
3. national youth polo player
4. national shooter
5. national sailorS
6. the list goes on.......... FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

ok toking to my brudder from HC......how nice when pple remember you.........i am so suprised...pleasantly........haha
my fren proposing a biathlon club......gd luck to him......haha

I am so bored....sian......help me.......cant wait for cca to start....at least i wouldnt have so much time on my hands den....my fren just called to tell me about his squash training......it seems he had a veri successful training.....oh well gd 4 him....waiting 4 my turn to tell sumone else tt sort of thing...hiazzzz......no one online.....no one to tok 2 leh......tomolo i have an electronics club meeting......i am quite sure its tomolo.......where i dunno hahaha.......i seem to have short term memory....damn it.....it is a rainy day......so cold......i fell asleep while reading........again.......maybe its the weather......or is it the book......i am just going to rant on....until i have nothing to say.......den i will go exercise........trying to get fit.......hav been slacking since last year Feb when my season ended.....how terrible.....rite? rite. hav lots of angel...mortal stuff 2 do.......but i am just to sian.....dun wanna do it leh.......probably disappointing someone in the process........oh welllll..........

anyway....its my bdae 2dae if you havent noticed.......many people wished me.....so nice.......so touching.......i wanna cryyyyy hahah....i wouldnt.........ok here is my plan.....

8.45pm-----9.15pm exercise......shuld i shower after tt??? hmmmmmmmmmm
9.15pm-----9.30pm tentatively showering hahaha
9.30pm-----online killing time......probably try 2 multi-task n mug at the same time......so wouldnt feel so gulity......haha

juz got home......ended sch at 1 10.....dunno where all the time went.......

things 2 do
1.maths tutorial 1 n 2
2.bio read the water stuff
3.GP.........damn diffiicult.........compare n contrast sum stuff
4.physics

but first i shall go cycling..........den i will mug at 5.30pm......gd fren from HC is gonna wish mi happy bdae.......hahaha.....wat a nice day........gtg be back later

hav 2 write dis b4 sleeping my reallie reallie gd fren wished my happy bday..........i do hav gd frensss hahahahahah

0000hrs 20th Jan 2003 MY 17TH YEAR ON 3rd rock frm sun
my resoultions......half of which i will 4get in a day
1. be nice
2. study hard and do reallie well
3. enjoy my cca.....MUST
4. remember my old frens
5. do wat i hav to do....this is in code (ggfmpft)(tpped)
6. anything else i forgot....how ironic
7. make new frens.....this is hard hahaha
go sleep liao

btw the timing is RIGHT now......hahaha........so wat u see is correct duh.......i told everyone my class walks sideways(crap) hahah lame......i tink they are alright.....just anti social mi perhaps........has been 2 wks liao......i stone in everything lah......quite worried about my studies.....dun understand a single thing........gonna bug the teachers until they teach mi properly..........yah......tt wat i am gonna do..........I WILL, I MUST DO WELL...............hehe dman ego rite......its me......

this is the only time u see mi writing so much stuffff.......cos i am bored.....sian.......still waiting.........got to wake up early 2molo.......can i make it???.......juz send sumting 2 sumone .........shuldn't have done it..........damn........screwed man....maybe tinks i am bloody weird........

oh 4got 2 write the time for the msg posting is wrong......so damn.......another 56mins more waiting waiting...........i just did a test
GAY-O-METER hahah i onli 26% thankfully........haha........

lets see....dun number wot time i created one.............created this one for my 17th year on earth........bday is in 1 hr.........happy bday 2 myself haha........wanniiiiiiii..........cheer up...........i promise i will be nice to u tomolo....for once hahaha