It seems the whole world is hitting the books. Even people I least expected....hmmm, this is kinda interesting.

Done with disc 7 which was exceptionally short at only 45 minutes. But hey, it is a great show. LOL.

Damn sian. Still pondering how to prepare for SAT 2, which is in 4 days time.

I think I would start mugging for the common test liao. Slow and steady wins the race. By the way, despite all the bullshit claims, trying is never the point. Winning is.

Shall do....

SAT 2 physics revision
Electrochemistry
Tutorials 2 3 4 5 of maths.

May is over!!! Thank God...

I wonder what a proper breakfast should be like...I don't think I have ever eaten a proper breakfast before. They always saye it is the most important meal of the day, I guess it's true..but what would be good? Hmmm....

Fooling around with nothing much to do. Sleeping pattern has changed drastically to 1/2 am nights and 10 am mornings. YUCKS...haha

And Harry Potter opens in 2 days times...how exciting..but would actually prefer the new book to come out instead of the new movie..

When you have so much time as me these days, you really don't know what to do with it..and risk burning out by being SIAN everyday...sometimes, it is good to have something to occupy the mind. So, I am going to do something new this holidays..The problem is I don't know, yet, what I would like to do...ice skating-inpsired by the show or back to model building, photography....seriously, there isn't much of a choice in Singapore, is there?

Still can't believe it. But learning to live with it.

Reading a loser's blog. And boy do I sound like him. This is freaking me out.

Anyway, disc 6 is history too...ONWARDS!!!

The world, and most of the people in it, are fucked.

Went about looking for depression. Seriously asking for trouble. And I got it. Now, it has turn into a bit of rage inside, simmering away...

The feeling is like someone jamming something right through the heart...I think.

I cannot understand how the world work. The world is damn twisted...WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING..JUST WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!

BASTARDS......not that I ever liked you fuckers anyway, but you all are really a bunch of fucking blind bastards and bitches.

It is just so unjust. unfair. whatever. I am not going to stop whining. This is a fucked up place. CHEE BY.

If I so much as hear one more sound....I will jump off some building.....

ARGHHHHHHH!

The stuff I remember is astounding...

Showered..plan to sleep earlier..maybe at 1 am?? HAHA...that gives me 4 hours...hiazz....

This is so sickening.

Went on a bike ride to Jurong Point. The route was terribly boring. Nothing but road and trees....YUCKS. I prefer cycling the Pasir Ris-Tampines-Bedok route anytime.

Anyway, hunted for the darn library in Jurong Point. It was so well hidden that I had to go through 4 doors and up a flight of stairs before I reach it. And being a community library, it was disappointing. Even the library at White Sands was better....totally suck man. And that mall is literally swarming with people..I think it because there isn't any other place to go...the West is really sickening....argh

Just finished disc 5...it is like WOW!

Shall go shower and revise some SAT 2...and make a studying n pp plan.....B-O-R-I-N-G.....

The wind last night and now is so literally howling. So strong that it is freaking me out.

Slept at 3 30 am last night and woke up at 9 am. Hmm, that makes it 5.5 hours of sleep. But I am not tired at all...hmmm, interesting.

So sian man. I cannot wait for nightfall.

Done with disc 4. But the quality was appalling due to the lousy computer I have. YUCKS!

Lightning is flashing in the distance. But I hear no thunder.

Tonight's view is really lovely. The bright lights in the distance and the moon is the sky...it is like WOW! Makes one wonder how to describe the beauty of it all. Not good with words..so I shan't.

Had an interesting conversation with someone I seldom talk to...

I am a coward. I tell people things I wouldn't never be able to do.

Good night.

Done with disc 3...and watched a bit of disc 4. Too bad the subtitles are in traditional chinese text...DANG! Couldn't really catch some of them, but hey PRIDE is quite cool to watch too!!!

The serial on TV was also not bad...haha.

Quite screwed man....I am having an overdose from drama serials.

And my VCD player is going to die soon, just like my computer. So, I have temporary shifted the watching of PRIDE to the computer, but alas!!!! THE RESOLUTION SUCK BIG TIME!!!

I am terribly afraid I damage my friend's VCDs...hope not!

2 03 am in the morning according to the clock on the taskbar.
2 08 am according to the clock on the table.
2 10 am according to the one beside the bed.
2 05 am according to my watch.

Time is relative?

I seriously don't know what I am doing, neither do I know what you are doing...

My room is so suffocating...I feel like vomitting now.

Today will be the same as tomorrow...

I am addicted to that darn game.

Have been spending the day alternating between the computer and mugging the stupid notes....hmmm this sucks

Shall go do some more revision....

Then at 11 pm, my favourite show would be one tv and then I will watch another of the PRIDE vcd...hahaha

THIS IS LIFE.....!

The weather is turning nasty. So hot and stuffy....yucks!

Just woke up from a nap.

Did some revision, going to do more since that wretch SAT II test is just in 5 days...hiaz!

Hmm, life is just so....aimless these days.

I shall go out later to make myself happy.

A nice breezy Sunday morning. Or rather afternoon. Ahhh how time flies. Finally got myself to tidy up my room, but didn't really do a very thorough job because I go t sick of it halfway through. Haha...at least it is tidy now...and the mugging stuff, witht he exception of Biology and GP is in order...LOL.

Shall have lunch, then start on SAT 2 revision. I would accept nothing less than a perfect score. The blood sucking people at collegeboard had the nerve to charge me $70 for a stupid paper. I should have taken 2 papers instead. Hiaz, but never mind, at least I feel quite relaxed now...hmmm

I wonder what are the other people doing now...?

Sometimes, letting go is harder than holding on....

It will be a nice day....today..

Was watching the Jap VCDs my classmate lent me...wahh. I am addicted liao man! And it is already 2 47 am in the morning of Sunday..think I shall go sleep soon.

A long day ahead!

Currently, trying my very best to save my computer. I am very sure it will die on me one day, soon.

Crappy...hiaz.

TMD SICK OF THIS WORLD....

sick. so sick. I need a good puke!

Ahhh..I just remembered to blog about this...

Anyway, I always thought that psycohologists were pretty women...even movies are usually like that. AND I SAW ONE TODAY...HAHA..happiness. It made my day just a bit better...hmm.

Didn't see her really well. But, I think she was really cute! She had Evonne Hsu hair...which is darn nice, a nice complex, good fashion sense, a damn sweet voice and a rather cute face!

Hmmm...I need a picture of her......argh!

And when she got angry...WAHHHHH, she got prettier. She GOT DAMN PRETTY....omg. I sound like a nut case. Hiaz....

But still, she was about the most beatiful person I met recently...hmmmm

Wahhh....my gaming form is at a low now. I think I am suffering from overdose....

Haven't done a single productive thing...crap...later lar..haha, as if man. This is so bad.

Damn...forgot to say..SCREW YOU!

Couldnt control myself....so I succumbed to my own shaggness.....and went to sleep.

This is boring!

I am pondering whether to go out later.....hmmmm

Hi! Just did the gay PSC test thing...it was a long 3.5 hours...

And after that, had lunch with a mixed group of people at Ghim Moh...before we spend.as in my classmates...half an hour deciding on where to go. Finally, we decided to go home and sleep. This is damn sad...LOL

Hmmm...first day of the holidays....

Plan to just mug some SAT 2 and do tidying up for my disgustingly messy room...then plan a schedule for the rest of the holidays...

Why did you do and say what you did and said...?

You are messing me up. ARGH.

Anyway, I think now is the time to start...or at least by tomorrow....hmm...

Damn frigging tired.

An eventful day. But too tired to write anything

I wish for May to end and June to come....quickly

May 2004 sucks.

And I just read something damn...hiaz. Sadness.

Today just suck to the core...

and if things are this way, then I have to accept it, right?

Fuck a wall.

Never assume.

I cannot find anything that I am totally passionate in...

except for mugging....hiazzzzz

not even fencing? I don't know.

What an exciting day. Woke up at 9 30 am or so...or rather forced to wake up about a classmate...LOL.

GP started at 12 pm with more latecomers than usual because of the error in the printing of the examination schedule, and although later rectified....some people just don't read..haha

Both papers were ok but the comprehension passages were thoroughly enjoyable....especially since it was a topic close at heart.....HAHAHA

Then after that off to eat at Ghim Moh where once again, indecisiveness kicked in big time ala THAT FRIDAY....after rushing through the meal, we decided to take a cab, couldn't find one, when back to school for the bus, shocked at the crowds there, walked out for a cab, in the end went back for a bus...WTH...mother gay man!

I cannot write about the match later because I am afraid of spoiling it. Let's just say we won 6-3 against a school that was not at all sporting. The team really did the school proud and I think those guys should be able to enjoy their victory after all that hard work....YEAH MAN! Sure feels good to be able to leave PA on the winning side...hopefully this is start a trend or something....

Then, headed for Novena for a mini RI4C class gathering...hmm it was rather cool just that due to sudden notice, not many people could make it..hiazz....But one thing is not to eat at the Union Square food court..It totally sucks...the variety is non-existent, the prices are way expensive and the place just stinks.....go to the other mall opposite the MRT station.

I have 2 series of Jap drama to watch. And a QA test tomorrow.

Hiaz....didn't do anything remotely associated with the academics today.....screw it man...the worries can come tomorrow.

You think so because of your birth...you imbecile fool.

In 2 hours, I will be sitting for my GP papers. That will be the longest 3 hours in recent times...Hope that I can write something from the 12 questions available. Noticed that I don't hope for a particualr topic to appear because I have no idea what I can or cannot write.

In short, I think I am in deep shit.

May really sucks...

Come this Saturday, I think it is time for me to really pull up my socks...I vow to change.

GP tomorrow....And I have been playing since...whatever

May really suck big time.

BYE.

Just got home from school. Slacke din the canteen after school for an hour or so. It was rather enjoyable....LOL...the sights were gooood.

Plan to study for SAT II physics, QA test and pack my room...

Last night was terrible. I went to sleep at 10 30 pm...and woke up with a spinning head. In fact, it is still spinning. WTH.

Missed phyiscs lecture and I think my teacher knows. DAMN. I am such an idiot. Most teachers are very nice to me, just that I am a pathetic moral-less student.....haha. Shall be a 'hao ren' soon...

I shall go tackle physics now and hopefully play some GB later.

Another thing the whole world is raving about.....

How psyche up or emotional or whatever they are about their last training....

My last training, or last training until I have the mood or after A levels whichever fate decides....and hopefully I will be pleased with the decision,

started with a little screwing, continued with lots of encouragement by the Coach and ended with a bit of piss-ness.

How did yours go?

Someone is singing that song whenever there is a graduation party....that missing friends song...I can hear it from my window.

This sucks.

I am going to fuck a wall.

Really excited about the rugby match. It is the only final worth waiting for. Hope to be treated to a great show of spirit by the school team...AND YES...win. Wonderful game, isn't it?

Just played an hour an a half of gunbound. I am so sick of myself.

I really don't what I am thinking....or what you are thinking....or what the world is thinking....

FUCK.

As I was drinking the beer-like apple juice and slacking like some sad soul in front of the computer like I do everyday ever since.....yeah, I came across this 'Life is about God, family and friends'

I was wondering where is the 'I'....

And then I was made to think about friends...by a friend. Upon thinking, I felt more alone in this world then I ever had. Simply because I have too many things that I want to but cannot tell anyone of my so called friends. It is really not easy to lock so many things inside...haha

That's why I think being a game director is the way I want to go. So study hard, get a scholarship from EDB or something and off I go to help developing the gaming industry in Singapore, get contacts..and start my own company.

Then maybe, I can tell my life story in a way that I will be comfortable, telling it as fully as possible with my thinkings, values and principles.

And maybe, that small bit of immortality would be earned.

Damn shag now...lots happened today.

Tutorials were as usual boring just that I kept getting screwed by teachers for talking...hmmm, guess it's time to shut up. Then PE was spent playing basketball with my classmates..it was rather enjoyable just that I ended up with a jammed finger and 3 cuts on my knee....OUCH...the guys and my teacher were like so concern over the cuts..personally I cannot really be bothered...should start taking more care with my own body...

Had a good shower in school and headed for the library to do some SAT II physics questions. Only managed to finish 70 out of the 75 available questions and right now have 5 mistakes...hmm..which is surprisingly good considering the conditions I was doing...my confidence of getting full marks has increased a wee bit....

After school, had this CHAO FUN filming of the class video. It was damn cool man. The guys in my class are just so united and on about stuff...really a great bunch of people...A pity some people ain't very pleased with about the filming....hiazz...It is really difficult to make everyone happy...

Shall slack a bit more and then go plan the rest of the day....

OHOH and it seems the FS sent my name to the school to apply leave for me from thrusday onwards for FSI. Even though, I am not going, it just makes me really happy....no one can understand this sort of feeling man...haha..like over the moon. Just that after that inital period of happiness comes the regret and emptiness...

Whatever......

The night scene is just so surreal...

The show was great. Next week's episode will be even better I think...

Should I? I think I should. It was the last...if I may say so....straw.

I am happiest asleep. Just woke up though.

After being cheater into downloading a trial verison of Spyhunter, I went to CNET.COM only to find that they have done a review of spyware killers..LOL. Tis is really very freaky, but just as well....

Radioactivity decay was very sleep inducing.

And my dinner is absolutely horrible. ARGH. I have eaten the same yucky, oily type of food ever since I moved here. But, I am so hungry now that I don't really have a choice....

Killing all the spyware..with spyhunter....die suckers!!!!

I am degenerating. Can you help me before it is to late?

The heat is really suffocating today. Getting to my head too...argh

Just finished the remainding parts of S3B tutorial and assignment...after settling radoactive decay, I think I should be free for the whole term....or what is left of it...YEAH!

Then study for the 2 coming tests and that's it...

If you don't know still, GP common test is in 3 days time. But I have no idea what to do for it...haha

I wonder if I am considered slack...I think I am...LOL

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won�t you conceed
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it�s not easy to be me

Up, up, and away, away from me
It's all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It's not easy to be me



A nice song. with some meaning.

Just signed up with Gmail. Off to mug after this song...bye guys

A fruitful morning to say the least..not in terms of mugging that is...

Woke up at 9 30 am after that last night session of gaming. Flipped open my favourtie paper of the week (The Sunday Times) and found out that there on the front page is a vacca-like guy. How sad is that? Hahaha. Then again, it might just be me being oversensitive because I have the habit of linking pictures to people...lol

Took a great refreshing shower before settling down to repair my mouse. And once that was done, I went to the already completed download of GB and proceeded on with the installation before having cereal for breakfast.

The soft late morning light and the light breeze is flooding into my room right now..ahhh...this is a great Sunday morning!!!!

Just one thing remains to complete my day.....hmmmm or rather morning...

On to more routine stuff, I plan to accomplish the following...

S3B tutorial
S3B assignment
Physics SAT II Chapters 8-14
Physics radioactive decay tutorial
Chemistry QA test

and if I have the time, some more revision work plus a little gaming (FFX/GB/CS) and my favourite serial at night...haha

BTW, I currently am going by the nick 'faggy homo'. I think the name has a very nice ring to it.

And my computer is so going to die soon with all the pornography and spyware in it. Hiazzz.

Woah....Damn high, after GBing with some classmates, I CSed with Kenny the benny...wah piang! DAMN FUN! And kenny is good I have to say...

Now, I can see my friend in his East Coast home because of his webcam! This is damn cool!

I need a new mouse, a microphone, a digital camera and a webcam!

YEAH...I also need more time to mug for SAT II physics...

The night took a terrible turn for the better and morning has arrived.....

I need to rest my sore arms....from gaming....LOL

Trying to download GB in all 99.5 mb of its glory. It is taking a long time...haha

I should be spending this time with SAT II physcis actually. But fate has a way of messing me up..LOL..

Blogger is having this photo hosting feature. WOW! I am very excited at the prospect of this, also addition incentive to get that camera faster...LOL

Currently, listening to 933 FM and all its irony...

It seems the whole world, or rather most of the world..no most of the college students are suffering from an emotion that is linked to sadness, or you can say the lack of happiness. Sadness is a rich emotion...haha

I am happy.

Just realized that the higher you go, the emptiness gets worse when it all ends. Because no one can ever let go of the glory and the fame that success brought. No one. If only it didn't start in the first place....

Success is addictive.

For the past 6 hours, I have been alternating between work and rest. Finished AS, Grp 7 ans S3A assignment finally....but sadly that only amounts to about 7 questions?

I am such a fag.

Hopefully, I would be able to get in some revision for SAT II, QA test and finish S3B tutorial later.

Pondering still......hiaz

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.


pathetic. but nice. but pathetic. but true. And I think you would like it too...haha

Hmm..AS for physcis wasn't has easy as I thought. LOL.

A bit saturated from that tutorial already. My threshold for mugging has dropped I think.

Gas for the kitchen came within 30 minutes. Highly efficient I would say...

It is not even 9 am in the morning. Woke up rather early today, feeling quite good.

New day, new beginning.

Gas just ran out at home, I didn't use that much for my dinner last night, did I?

Sad to say, I have found the perfect example of a dumb person.

Realised arcoss that thin wall lies another world.

Was watching a documentary on Central just now which delayed my shower for a good 2 hours. It was about the Mongols conquering lands...next weeks feature is on THE HUNS. Quite an interesting watch actually..hmmm...but I should really be studying for SAT II instead right?

There is also the QA test and so much other school work related rubbish to do.

The library which is about 400m from my house is about to open. I am excitied at the prospect of having some facilites in this pathetic sad and lonely region of Singapore. I still think I like Pasir Ris better. DANG

I am feeling hungry now. I can eat a cow.

Just got back from the class movie outing. Surprised that almost all the guys went with the exception of mat would had seen the show, 2 Indians who are MIA and 1 mugging cum wanking Singh...

The show lived up to its hype. It was 2 hours and 40 minutes of enjoyment. Achilles was damn sehhh...!!! He wanted immortailty and the glory that came with it..wow...that is kinda cool. So was hector I felt, but of course to a lesser extent. And I think for the first time in my life, I lasted all the way until the END of the CREDITS....haha and the lights came totally on. That was quite lame...haha..the previous time I did something like that would probably be sec 2 in J8 watching Final Fantasy. On both ocassions, I wanted to catch the ending theme...haha. Trying to download the song now, but either the person I downloaded from have a faulty file, or the anti-piracy tactic of uploading dummy files by companies is working....LOL

After the movie, went home with 2 of my classmates to an empty house. Decided to cook dinner for myself. Since it was going to be TOM YAM instant noodles again, (seriously wondering when I would geet sick of it) I tried to make my dinner more nutritious by frying an egg and 2 crabsticks. On second thoughts, it wasn't very healthy because I burnt the crabsticks and almost burnt the egg. Plus it was my second egg for the day and crabsticks are high in cholesterol.....like eggs. SHIT. So, I had some yoghurt..to sorta make up...this is gay!

Anyway, felt that some of the themes of the show was really a reflection of what I wanted in life. But sometimes, your best isn't good enough. And maybe, if I was still there, I will probably stay get thrashed. Hiazzz.

Never mind that...right now, studying is of utmost importance and perfect score is my aim. Not to get a scholarship or anything...but that would be a bonus, if you ask me, I would say to prove that I can do it. All my life, I have been living to that motto. To life is to make use of each and every opportunity that presents itself, even though I am in no position to say this since I threw away the best shot at glory I will ever have.


Right now, I am a bit muddled.

This world is so unfeeling.

I am feeling a bit sad, a bit gay and a bit happy today.

And a bit unsettled and lost too.

Today was extremely weird. I am so shag now.

Can't be bothered with anything else except the fricking maths test. Let myself down with total bullshit. I hate letting myself down.

DAMN

I am really fucking it up.

Class movie tomorrow. I am excited at the prospect of watching Troy. YEAH! I have heard from everyone that it is damn good. Now, to see it for myself.....

It was a lie. Blaming myself for believing it.

I am so sick of maths. I think I will abandon S2 revision...hiaz

My friend got full marks for his physics test. But he isn't happy because of some reasons. The things we do now, affect us later. Remember that...kind of like retribution right...but I usually do things with full knowledge that I would regret later...and then I really regret later...LOL

I am so damn bored. Can't wait for tomorrow's test to be over.

I want to be free. Free from here, free from you, freem from everything.

Currently in the process of self destructing to free myself.

Today has come a full cycle. Currently feeling devastated again.

It is weird. I am waiting in eager anticipation. It would be a definite blast. Sit back and watch the fireworks.

So much for the slacking. Back to the maths. How insanely boring...

You got me up high, and send me crashing back down
would have been better if we hadn't start

Fininshed S1..slacking around now...shall go have dinner and read the papers.

Then it is on to S2...hiaz

I am so sad yet still happy.

This is crazy. You are messing me up. Again.

Had a shower, doing some S1...

Must complete S1 and S2 by today because the test is tomorrow, but I can hardly concentrate.

Feeling much better now...my seniors are just the nicest bunch of people I have ever meet in recent years!

GP was quite slack today...hmmm

Currently jealousy and anger is consuming me. I think that is because of my extremely competitive nature...Anyway, as I was about to left school for home today, disaster struck. The president of FS messaged me asking if I was going for FSI...and there after a conversation start with it revolving around me not going training and that I should be going.

Went online to find out the team selection for the FSI. Someone who I think has not been putting in much effort is going. That is why I am pissed. And he is getting a free tracksuit...ARGH. I don't even have anything like that! But that isn't the point. The thing is he is underserving in my opinion. Maybe I am bias and it it is just pure jealousy....still, I don't think I am such an irrational person.

I have made up my mind that even if I do pick up fencing again, which is highly unlikely since Coach will be damn piss with me; I would be far too out of touch and lousy and there would be new blood, it would be after the A levels.

In short, I cannot let go. Even my friends said that I should not have stopped training. Why did I fucking stop training to slack. FUCK. Why am I such a loser? BUT, I was happy for the past 20 days right? I kept telling myself if I had training on such and such a particualr day, I would surely die. I might regret my decision a bit, but it was done following my inner voice. It is a waste, I feel, to quit just when I am getting a bit of results and maybe I might be a little talented it in since my Coach who is a very good and experienced fencer/coach says so too. However, what has done cannot be undone.

Stick to the decision? NO. I don't have a choice but to do so. I fucked myself. And no one but me is to be blamed.

Hold on if you feel like letting go. That is a line a classmate send in an email. The problem is it is just so hard to go and do it alone.

I wanted to hold on. But I let go. The reason for regret is probably the interest...and what they call the passion....and with it all the pride and glory...of showing that I can achieve.

Fate had a hand in it. After I told Coach that I was going to quit partially, I fell ill and got used to the slack life. Maybe this is some closure to the unsettledness I have been experiencing for the past 20 days.

Within 20 days, my life changed upside down.

JUST FUCK IT. FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT

I am dying from the inside. No one can understand how I feel. Writing it here might be sort of a release, but yes, it is so painful to make decisions. I am devastated.

How many fucking 'buts' have I used. FUCK IT

School ended at 1 10 pm but up til now, I haven't done a single thing. Shall shower and mug.

Cut off all links?
Say no.
How come you are still training?
Jia you and go there to thrash everyone!

You all said these. I paid the price for riding to high.

When it all comes crashing back down, I will just snap.

...bye...

I just bought 2 new pens and put in a new AAA battery for my radio.

WOW!

What a sleepy day...got home and slept right after showering until 10 30 pm...

And I had a terrible terrible nightmare...so damn scary. The worst thing was I was half awake and yet unable to get out of the nightmare..it felt so real man! Maybe it is an omen....

Woke up feeling extremely hungry due to the light dinner I had. Cooked the TOM YAM instant noodles as usual with the pot that YF gave me. It didn't taste right today. Maybe I microwaved it for a shorter period of time, that's why. Then eat some VERY stale kaya pandan cake followed by strawberry yoghurt..hmm...I am quite satisfied now..Eating is great man!

Just finished watch some TV..hmm I guess it is time to start work. How sian.

I just downloaded FF12 trailer. ALL 73MB of it. And half of that thing is in real time gameplay with japanese conversations... ARGHH Couldn't make out anything they were saying. I need a translator man!!!!!!!!! Damn it lar.

Let's hope I wouldnt be late for school tomorrow. The school authorities are crazy over punctality. I personally think that it is a good thing..but sometimes I feel that they might just be overdoing it...I don't think people purposely come to school late....sometimes....things just happen.

I am awfully bored now..no one is at home. The quietness is rather good actually. I seem lost in a world of my own, far away from the troubles of my life, yet still near to those at heart.

It will be a long night......

How on earth can happiness be shared...unless the two people are related somehow real strongly...or else...NAH! haha!

I am having a major headache. Shall shower, sleep and it would be time for...

21B
S1

then hopefully I would be in a better mood...WTH.

This world is too weird for me....is it for you? Let's leave it together....

Today's physics test would be a lesson to people not to think to much. Simple stuff think so much for what....haha. Anyway, guess I was over confident and in the end made some silly mistakes. ARGH. An A would be almost a sure bet barring any unexpected crap. But there goes my full marks and a high score....ARGHH...feel a bit disappointed with myself. Hiaz!

Skipped chemistry S today, again. School was rather boring except for the Biology practical which was quite a disaster and the physics test. Lectures were quite sian and GP was spent sleeping...hmmm

My GP teacher got home earlier than me. WTH. Anyway, 3 cars near my block have been vandalised. One of the car's windscreen was so damn badly smashed..which reminds me that LCK's car got rammed too. And he took it out on US during attire check....THAT IS WAY UNREASONABLE MAN!

I feel like dying man. Seen her a few times today. How can anyone be so cute?

Looking forward to the short day tomorrow and the movie on Friday...

My feet is hurting so bad....not to mention my heart is aching like crazy......haha

Tried cutting my nails with an extremely blunt nail clipper...hiazz...where the hell is the good one?

Was surfing at gamespot.com and that wretch site doesn't allow anyone to download any of the E3 videos except members. Means that I have to wait...again. Speaking of games, the Gundam game I bought seem to suck although I haven't actually played it properly yet...hmm. And I would want to start on FFX and FFX-2 soon, hopefully the discs hold up..or I will be mega pissed.

Seems like a lot of good games are coming out soon. YEAH!

Just finished the last 3 questions of 21A. Feeling super sian now.

Hiding in the comfort of the air-conditioner again. The weather is getting worse man. And I am already dreading the 1 hr 20 min long GP lesson tomorrow.

Watched a little of BAD BOYS on channel i just now. That is one old show. I think it has been shown a few times on TV too. But still remains a nice show to watch. The female lead is rather hot in my opinion....haha.

And after wanting to get a digital camera for so damn long, I am finally going to get it. The $350 from the scholarship thingy that I received has hasten my decision...hmm..pondering between powershot S45 or A80...hmmmmmm...shall get it by the end of this month...

FUCK YOU.....don't try me....I might just turn violent.

The only useful thing learnt in Biology lecture today was the latin word for cow.....which is vacca.

I am absolutely vomitting from complex numbers. My accuracy is horrible. Think am suffering from saturation....hmmm. Kinda of weird since I started studying at 5 pm for an hour of physics before sleeping from 6 to 7 pm then waking up again to do 21A.

Shall try finish the last few question.....

Life isn't very fun these days..mechanical?

I want to leave Singapore soon. To find a farm is some far way place and just be with myself. A good break to recharge myself. I think I am a bit tired of living at the moment...hmmmm

My brother is leaving for Bangkok tomorrow I think. I really can't be bothered...haha. At least that is one less human in the house...ahhh.

Wahh.my feet are gone again. Blisters..or rather mega blisters. I counted about 3 on each feet. And this time it is floorball...haha...But PE was damn fun lar.

GP was B-O-R-I-N-G as usual, nothing of interest happened expect that KEN TOH stank like shit.

Missed the first part of the Biology lecture as I was happily showering away in the toilet near the gym. Felt super clean after that and was damn SHUANG! Hmmm, think I would shower every time after PE from now on.

Talked to the AMERICANO KID.....haha....Roger is as faggy as usual. Still never change much.

The day ended with a slacky but enjoyable chemistry and civics tutorial. I should be skipping all S papers this week...AGAIN...This really cannot do man!

Anyway, had a mini class lunch at the BIOPOLIS with some classmates...saw a disgusting couple there too..YUCKS. It was quite fun, but seriously, I think we are too slack liao. Then on Friday there is still the Troy outing and it seems next Friday is some batch party. OMG OMG OMG.

This cannot do. Was reading the civics notes on '7 habits of highly effective people' on the car today. I must stop being a 'YES MAN' and revert back to being a 'prioritizer' and there was the big rock/small pebble analogy which I have used manny times...hmmm

On the way back, I think I saw a national fencer..oh well...hiazz

On the way back too, I saw a girl whose back view looked so much like THE GIRL...but hiazz..make me waste time walk to the long way only to be disappointed by her front view.....DANG

OKOKOKOK........MUGGING TIME..CHIOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG

SHOWER
AC
QUANTUM
COMPLEX NO.

Who gives a damn about Biology practical test? Not me..shit

I am degrading......I am not a faggy!

I read something damn apt...this is freaky. But apt.

Don't bullshit me that it never came across your mind. The waiting game has started. And it will never end...haha

Wahhh...the japanese serial just ended..oh my god...it was HOW nice to watch..

The girl is damn spastic man. Why can you like your best friend?!?! Then she obviously like Hachi, but keeps on wondering about it...how gay is that? And worse still she is the sort that is very outgoing, and still act like a gay...OMG. And that guy is even worse. Totally like a faggy. Can he tell that she likes him? Wah piang eh.

She likes him. But he likes another girl. But in the end, I bet he will like her lar. Obvious right. Haha.

How interesting. 5 more episodes to go I think. Too bad I missed two..hmmm

The computer is definitely going to die soon. I will miss you.

Yeo Feng's blog contest is a scam to increase his readership. He is nuts. HAHA

Feeling the need to vomit soon.

Lost the plot totally after 4 pm. Bummed around the house eating and doing nothing.

Went out to photocopy things. The lift stopped like 4 times on the way down. How irritating. Meet the GP teacher as the lift open. Decided to run away to avoid her. Decided against it. Chose to ignore her and walk to my bicycle like she is a piece of glass.

The idiotic photocopying shop is closed on Sundays and public hols. A wasted trip.

Got home feeling like a loser. The weather is getting very hot, or maybe it is just my mood

Currently am in total darkness except for the light from the monitor and in my air-conditioned which smells of the disgusting dinner I just had. It was fricking oily. and unhealthy of course.

ODE is disgusting. I am having trouble with the simple integration. Shall go slack and think of girls before I proceed any further with my maths revision...hope to complete this dumb topic by tonight and start on complex numbers and more physics..

LIFE is a bitch because of school. I am going to be a game director..no matter what happens.

Have been doing physics...shall stop now and continue later..hiazz. So much to study. Currently left all the mugging bits and the graphs to revise. This aint very fun!

Maybe next week someone might visit me...so at least that is something to look forward too. YEAH! Otherwise school is such a torture...BORRINGGG...and worse still, the most USELESS subject, GP is almost everyday. WTF

I am resting now...lalalalala...how me!

WOW...some people are really damn smart. But that is their life...going to create my own life next time...and it definitely won't be around books..

Have to go to the 'Double A service centre' later again. I am being made use of like a dick. WTH..LAZY BASTARDS...

Oh well...this is life...haha

Taking a breather from physics...shall go do QUANTUM PHYSCIS later and then the long questions for AC...hmm let's hope today will be goood...

Woke up rather early today to do up all the class photos...and they are finally done...so phew..haha. Was mentioning about how unsettled I feel this days..even the Life section of the Sunday Times agree. My horoscope says that 'unsettlement is in the air' for me this week. How gay...this cannot do!

Speaking about the Sunday Times, it is a thoroghly enjoyable paper to read, especially the food section at the back of Life...haha..and Italian traffic police now drive Lamborghinis..how cool is that man! I think the SPF uses pathetic Mitsubishis...lol

I am wondering whether to go for S papers next week. Realised that I have skipped all sessions since I came back from Manila. Everything has changed since I came back hasn't it...haha. But the coldness sure didn't change...LOL

I am making no sense at all...considering really hard whether to watch TV now a not...I think I shouldn't..most of my friends are mugging now..and I should be doing the same. Life really suck. No wonder some J2s have depression and have to repeat their year. But it aint going to be me....

Weird that my right triceps is feeling very suan. I haven't do much hand activity recently besides hw and typing away on the computer...hmmmmm

Just got home from a family dinner...hmm this is the first time since CNY. In the past, my family used to eat out maybe once every fortnight, but since moving to Jurong it has lessen because there isn't any restuarant nearby.

Went to this restuarant at the Cheveron, which is sort of a club for army people. It was one damn weird chinese dining experience. First, the waitress like tried to put the napkin on my lap.....ARGHH....she wanted to touch me!!!!!! YUCKS! Then if you watch those food shows on TV and always wonder how the hell do people get full on those 'nice to look at' but pathetically small portions, they don't. The portions were super small i.e. 3 pieces of scallop per person. And the scallops weren't even huge like the NORTH HOKKAIDO SCALLOPS! Anyway, I was expecting standard 'chinese' size portion but ended up getting those disgustingly small morsels. One thing was the presentation of the food was really good, but it seemed rather western. Talk about fusion food here...LOL. Then there was the separate servings. Each dish was served separatedly unlike the communal 'free for all' chinese dinner. The most gay part was everytime each dish came, there was a set of fork and spoon, even though there was a pair of chopsticks on the table...LOL....But the worse was the waiting...the entire dinner took about 2 hours and there was only 5 dishes or so. Almost died from waiting. The food wasn't very good too. I guess more have to be expected from the $180 price tag..

After leaving the restuarant, my Dad went to the autopay station to pay for the parking. As we were exiting the carpark, he suddenly remembered that he forgot to take the ticket...so we cannot get out! So I rushed back to the station but couldn't find the fricking ticket. Thank god a guy suddenly asked me if I was looking for a ticket and give it to me. He could have walked away with it and get out of the carpark for free while my Dad pay a $30 fine. Thank you whoever you are!!!!

A good 3 hours wasted.......lots of work still undone....

Luck is sometimes on my side.......

I wonder if you are wondering too.....

Oh no, the computer has been cranky recently. I hope it doesn't die anytime soon because I don't feel like fixing it up.

BORRINGGG...a friend is back from the US and thinks that Singapore is the best place to be in. The grass is NOT greener on the other side...or so he says. I have to agree with that, but then again, I would like to go take a look myself...

Already plan what to do for today..so far, studying for physics has been rather slack. Shall go finish up QUANTUM PHYSICS and do some questions on them...Then there is still maths test to revise and the repsective tutorials of the 3 subjects that I do...LOL..Biology has no place in my plan...hoping for a productive day

Hmmm, I think I am suppose to go for some flag day CIP thingy. ARGH. Can't be bothered to go liao. I am such a bastard...haha

I have decided to get a camera and pick up photography. I will be my latest hobby. Life is BORINGGGG...

Failed the test miserably...but can't always expect to pass right...but what if...argh..haha. Too many 'what ifs' already..sian diao...CIAO

Slacked the whole Friday away...hiaz.

Vomitting from the uploading of the class photos....argh

Played a lot of MSN online games....this is damn fricking sad for a life.

I am sad man. And this is also the latest that I have slept in about 5 months.

My ass..totally hurts...like..CRAZY.....ARGH. I can't hardly walk properly. DANG!

This is sad and scary. One more time...here we go again.

My feet is covered with blisters..arghhh....

The day was rather good..because school ended at 12 30 pm. This is really the J1 days..HAHA...having lots of fun now. And I don't mind getting my promo results for prelims too!!! HAHAHA...so the class slacked at the canteen after chemistry practical, which was a total disaster for me..hiazz

This is damn gay...first we decided to do something...so movie...but there was a choice to be made...it was either VAN or TROY..and after discussing for like 20 minutes..we settled on TROY..so gooooddd...then we left for the backgate and on the way, WE DIDNT EVEN MADE IT TO THE BACKGATE...we stopped at the concourse and decided to play soccer instead because it was to expensive for a movie...then I went back to get the ball and proceeded on to the backgate...THEN, reaching the backgate, we decided to GO HOME....like wtf!!!!! so screwed...headed back to the canteen with Zhi Kai...upon reaching the canteen, Donald and co. decided to play soccer......GAYNESSS

In the end, we played soccer first with some gay malays who coincidently wanted to have sex with me.....YUCKS. They are a total disgrace to the fine tradition of Malay soccer. HIAZ. It was damn spastic, but at least there was good company in the form of my classmates...SUCKY SHITS. Out of the blue...duckling walked by with us looking super gangster like with sweat untucked shirts and rolled up pants. The disgusting faggy malays were staring at her all the way and even said yucky sick crude stuff to her....and we did NOTHING......ARGH.......damn useless!!!!!

Spotted THE cute girl again on the way home, at the exact same time and exact same place as last week. Life is really relaxing these days...I think I should pysche up and mug really soon. But once I get into the mood, I think I wouldn't be able to chill with the class...which is kind of sad since I don't how many of them will I remain in contact with let's say this time next year..


My sad state of life...hiazz

My brain cannot figure out what are you thinking. Can you please tell me????

I wonder why jealousy is link to green....hmmm..interesting.

And once again, the whole were is in missing each other. How sad.

And my poor poor friend. He doesn't know when to stop. I am not sure if he, like me, just take the stuff that happenings very lightly. If he can't, then I think he is in for some SHIT. And I am not able to do a shit about it. I am such a shitty person. DANG!

Maybe, just maybe, people are more open with their emotions. I prefer everything shut in a bottle, locked away in some place.

Oh man, I am not making sense.....there is GP tomorrow..so like FUCK IT...not to mention Biology too. Fridays are a total waste of time. I shall go mug!

To hell with the world.

I am absolutely disgusting with my stupidity. Vomitting from S3. Plan to study failed terribly. SHIT MAN! I am quite pissed off now. And I need to start studying for SAT II physcis....life is stressful...

I hate being stupid. But that is only because I know I am stupid....saddness..

Anyway, derek just messaged saying that he went training and coach is a different man now. Sort of slipping into depression I guess with all the recent happenings. I feel a little sorry for him, but I am not going back. Not now....maybe later. This reminds me to try and pass YL gift to him ASAP...haha

Didn't have appetite for dinner again. I wonder why. Just cooked a packet of Tom Yam flavoured instant noodles and had some bread to go with it. This is damn unhealthy. I don't want to die young man...I should start eating oats and apples from tomorrow onwards......LIKE REAL....LOL

The 9 pm show is ending tomorrow...how sad. I wonder if the next show is good...hmmm I don't really care anyway. I have too much time to not watch something bad..haha. My life is kind of sad these days....

OHOH...I found the song...really is ' ta po tie something something....de lai quan bu fei gong fu'. DAMN..my chinese is horrible too. I can't speak English and now my chinese is going down the drain.....soon I might have to resort to hand gestures...

A very apt song for 'suckers like us'...as gin way put it.

I disagree with the 'suckers' part..but it is quite true..LOL

am I THAT gay?

please email me at thngzx@hotmail.com to tell me your honest opinions.....hmmm haha

Phew...the weather is terribly hot today. School was painful in the morning because of my gastric pain because I didn't have much dinner the night before because I felt tired.

Lessons were ok but it seems I get caught talking a lot...LOL. I think I better shut up soon...lest I anger the teachers. PE was great fun! Played floorball the first time for ages. But it was a bummer that we lost..and had no time for revenge....ARGHHHH...

THEN, we had soccer at the tennis court to sort of celebrate IVAN LEE KAI WEN'S birthday for him. Have known and diaoed that guy for 6 years. I think I am a totally bastard..LOL..But he is a good friend lar.

Took the train home. It was so fricking packed that I had to miss the first train that arrived. HOW FAGGY...I wonder why are trains so damn packed when I want to board them...

Today is going to be a busy day...lots of work to do...then I can watch the hottest babe in SINGAPORE at 9 pm...wahhh...my nose is bleeding now...

I am trying to hunt for a song....hmmmm...and I don't know what the hell you are thinking man...hiazzz

Somehow, when you work very hard and get something, in the end, you will feel empty. You will feel that there is nothing more to do, nothing more to prove or you might feel that there is the need to continue, the need to maintain at the top. But in the end, you will feel empty.

Because happiness and saddness can never be shared.

Waiting for phone calls, waiting for sms, waiting for people, waiting for emails...waiting is terrible. And I have done much waiting in my lifetime....I don't want to wait anymore....I am not a waiter.........WTF.....GAYNESSSSSSSS

OH WELL.....S3A ASSIGNMENT is nearly finished and I did the MCQ for radioactive decay...probably try and do some S3B crap....OH BOTHER.........

I am so damn bo liao.

Damn it. Just for the record, I am addicted to the 9 pm show on channel 8. The singaporean production these days are few and few between..good ones are even harder to come by..so I strongly recommend 'La Xiong La Mei' to all TV addicts out there.....DAMN LA...must watch man!!!!!

JEANETTE AW...is so frigging hot. I cannot understand how someone can look that good. Why is she so god-damn-it-what-the-hell-insane-out-of-the-world chio.....ARGH...!!!!

I am falling in looooovvvveee......ahhhhh

Damn it. Just for the record, I am addicted to the 9 pm show on channel 8. The singaporean production these days are few and few between..good ones are even harder to come by..so I strongly recommend 'La Xiong La Mei' to all TV addicts out there.....DAMN LA...must watch man!!!!!

JEANETTE AW...is so frigging hot. I cannot understand how someone can look that good. Why is she so god-damn-it-what-the-hell-insane-out-of-the-world chio.....ARGH...!!!!

I am falling in looooovvvveee......ahhhhh

Just went to visit cartoon's blog. How terrible....

I think I am an idiot...LOL.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH...I feel like kicking myself now. But I cannot bear to bring pain to myself..haha.

Seriously, I thought something good was going to come out of it during that few days about a week ago. But I guess sometimes I can't take everything to literally. It is time to chill...and mug..no I need to shower first.

Hmm...Biology test was a mugging test....unfortunately, I didn't mug..but never mind that..school was thankfully short today...haha. Fenced a while with Nick after school, almost fainted....it was so tiring. I guess training does have its benefits....sad to say, didn't and couldn't fence properly too...so damn pai seh...with so many people watching...ARGH...haha, will probably fence again so time soon just to keep in touch...MUST NOT LOSE....!

After that, it was to Lido with 2 classmates for a movie. We watched 'Blood Brothers'. It wasn't fantastically good, which is usually the case with chinese movies, but it was not too bad. Anything beats HELL BOY...That was one heck of a faggy show..I still cannot gwet over how faggy HELL BOY was....AND I bet VAN HELSING....or however you spell it will be HELL BOY 2.....

On the way home, felt the fatigue setting in. And it had to be around 6 pm so the train was so damn packed that I couldn't even stand properly. Around the DOVER area, the darn train slowed to a darn crawl and a darn woman beside me keep muttering darn curses...AIYOOHHH..that kind of person confirm die young one man! The train also she want to curse...what is the world becoming into..hiazz..SADNESS

And now, here am I half asleep..feeling damn slack today..THIS IS REALLY NOT GOOD. I need to kick start my mugging mode somehow. SHIT. The recently days have been a drag..almost lost my water bottle TWICE today and my keys once.........BLOODY DANGEROUS...!!!

I shall do

S3A ASSIGNMENT
ANALOGUE; RADIOACTIVE DECAY
GROUP VII

I shall study

AC

Listening to some other genre of songs courtesy of my classmate.....

Hmmm...I think I should stopping eating in my room.....there are quite a few ants on my table.....I need to smoke my room with insecticide soon....

Chemistry test wouldn't be a true gauge of my standard. The last two questions were ripped from the TYS and I had attempted both of them before...made some very stupid mistakes too and on the whole wasn't very well prepared for the test...Electrochem is still very difficult to understand...would have to clarify the doubts when the paper comes back.....still good for an A though....hmm...THIS IS NOT GOOD

My brother's friends are taking over the house...playing mahjong in his bedroom....how gay. School was ok today primarily because of the absence of the GP...haha...and except for that little run in with INGE and the nonsense during biology practical, nothing worth mentioning...

Skipping chemistry S again.....this is sickening....I need notes and tutorials man!

Tomorrow would be BIOLOGY TEST.....SHIT......then no further tests until next week...should be using the time to finish up...

GROUP VII, ANALOGUE;NUCLEAR;RADIOACTIVE, S3A ASSIGNMENT;S3B TUTORIAL AND ASSIGNMENT........thats about all the work I have until next week...and hopefully would be able to start on the SAT II physics..

This is so boring....I wonder if you know I am waiting.....hiazzzz

Thank god tomorrow is a short day...hope to have a good time fencing..NO LOSING.....

I am absolutely sian. I am unsettled. I know why but I can't do a thing.

I have to start afresh somehow...this is really eating into me...

I am going crazy.....

In addition, there are 4 tests in 2 weeks time, not to mention QA and SAT II...really cannot be bothered anymore...hiazzz

I need to stop this....NOW!

I saw the plants along the corridor swaying very violently through the kitchen window as I was washing a cup to get some water. In a moment of jest,I decided to just open the door went out to feel the breeze....

The wind was so strong yet I couldn't feel it....

The door was open but I closed it....oh well.....this is life

Trying very hard to be less nasty to my friends....haha...

ploughing through chemistry cannot be more apt than now...

Ever since I came back, something has been not right. I cannot put my finger on it but I am quite sure something is different with me. And philippines have to do with it...

Wondering if I got drugged and rape or something....LOL

Actually, my troubles usually come from only a few sources..and I THINK I know how to solve my recent restlessness..but I cannot bring myself to do it....haha...how gay..

It seems the whole world is missing one another. I wonder if anyone is missing me.....haha

Shall go slack a bit more than finish up the remainding 1.5 chapters of chemistry and tackle biology...

BIOLOGY IS FUN....DAMN FUN...

I WILL NOT LOSE TO ANY J1 FENCERS.....

My handphone bill for last month is about $90. Could have saved about $40 but I didn't know that incoming calls (overseas) is much much cheaper than outgoing...DAMN

Anyway, my Mother bought a $89 pair of ROCKPORT XCS sandals for me. I am damn shocked man! It is the 3rd most expensive piece of footwear I have. The first two being pair of leather shoes and my soccer boots. The design is about the same as the adidas one I lost about a month ago at that wretch clementi stadium. It doesn't have that disgusting strap across the ankle which usually cut into my skin..haha The upper surface is made of leather and the sole is made by this company called Vibram. which specialises in sole-making..The sole is made of this felt-like material and is very soft and springy to the touch...On the whole, a very comfortable wear.....

Wondering if I would be able to wear it to the beach.....haha

Its 8 36 am on a Monday morning which feels like Sunday....I wonder how the television is feeling...

Woah, blooger has a new layout...it looks quite nice and the navigation is straightforward...just that it might take a little longer with more clicking to be done....

I CANNOT believe Alan Shearer missed a penalty....Newcastle is surely in a bad state now. OMG OMG OMG. They must win the next to matches and hopefully Aston Villa lose to Manchester United...argh...so damn irritating....thye should have and could have won man! LIFE IS SO UNFAIR....dissed......

Ferrari is the exact opposite leading both drivers' and constructors' championship with Schumi making it 5 wins out of 5...his best start to F1 so far....This is really fantaastic man....haha....There isn't any stopping of the domination...LOL

Can't really remember what time I slept last time. It was very early and I missed my favourite Jap show.....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF WTF. I woke up at 11 50 pm just in time to heard the ending from my bed. That's the second episode I missed........WTF....PISSED!!!!!!

MEGA POST.....

Ok..so at least more or less settled the fencing stuff. I will probably never be able to go back anymore, even if I wanted to. On one hand, I think it is really a waste, but on the other hand, I don't think I am that good after all. But I think I have a confidence problem you know...somehow, I have been doing quite well..but still am HUM JI about almost all my opponents. That is why I can't improve fast enough. The fire to win has sort of died down. Anyway, saw two gay fencers mucking about in the concourse. They sure look pro...Actually, I think fencing is a sport that needs daily practise...I will so out of touch just after 10 days? But probably joining the FSI team to train on day......I better fuck them all upside down...I CAN BE THE BEST!.....damn it lar....screw FSI.....I want to go, but I can't afford or stand training so much anymore...

I have thought over this many times, I think I will just bury all my feelings for fencing deep inside my heartand take them out from time to time.....see my 2 PRO seniors today at ORA......respect!....

Yesterday, had to rush down to school to retrieve my lost pencil case. THANK GOD! I found it lying on the table at the concourse...what a piece of luck! Then, I studied for a while before heading out to meet my class guys to pool and lan...Had great fun playing pool and lan with them and my head almost burst from the concentration spent on PLAYING.....LOL......then we went to NTUC to buy some party stuff before meeting up with the rest to have a BBQ at Loke's house. It was fun BBQing and watching soccer, basically enjoying myself thoroughly....just that mahjong is damn scary.....haha..pity that towards the end everyone could stay on and it gradually became a talk cock cum sleeping session....Almost freezed my butt off due to the extreme coldness.....dumb air conditioner.....

Slept at 3 30 am, woke up at 7 30 am, had breakfast and chiong to school for ORA...which was basically slacking and soccer day....The only upset was the attempted thief of someone's soccer ball....JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING......FUCK YOU BASTARDS.....

Bought a cake for my Mother and eat a good dinner...now here I am blogging before ending off to the shower....then have a nap until 10 pm to recuperate the energy I spent the day before.......

Winning eleven is crazily difficult to play.....hmmm...I am currently vomitting from it....

And my brother went down to Chinatown SPECIALLY to get a mahjong set....he CLAIMS it's a Mother's Day gift....but we all know it is for himself too. That is damn gay. Now my whole family, except me of course, has gone out to get a mahjong table....so much for a conducive environment for studying...

I have to try and find a way to get the motivation to mug...hoping to accomplish the mugging of at least some of the two lecture test next week and do the analogue tutorial that I have procastinated...for a long time....

But first things first......I haven't fricking shower yet.....and I better do so right now....not to mention get a Mother's Day present.....still no inspiration on what will make a good present.........DAMN IT.......


THIS IS GAY. THIS IS LIFE. THIS IS ME....fag!

I have so experienced it before man.....DANG

Should I go training on Wednesday......hmm..I think I would if the lecture tests go well....haha

Play soccer today.....AGAIN....my feet are covered with blisters..dam painful...

Tomorrow there is YL to meet and a class party to go too..which includes stayover until Sunday for ORA....omg..there goes the weekend.....

My teacher also commented that I have changed ever sicne coming back from Manila...I think it is quite true....This is not good at all.....I better buck up fast....hiazz

Feeling damn shag now....Shall slack and then head for the shower.....

Slept the whole day away yesterday....and played soccer today after school. Played like a total faggort and it was damn sad that two of my friends mistakenly thought we were at Ulu Pandan CC and rushed there to find no one.

Today was rather sian. Lessons were the usual, except for PE where I lost quite a fair bit of blood from a cut lip. That's the most blood I have lost in quite a while....haha...

A bit like the J1 days yeah....haha

There is biology class test tomorrow, followed by an idiotic GP lesson and a boring Chemistry practical session...

Hiaz, really don't have much motivation to do anything. Life is too fast for me this days...and today really heartache man...maybe I am just screwed! LOL...I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!

Might be going for a movie tomorrow, there goes mugging time. Will see the response before considering.

Shall go shower, study biology and chemistry, do periodicity and GROUP II and then that will be it.....I guess.....depends on my mood.....

I havent done a thing still......ahhh just screw it man. Anyway, school has been super duper ultra boring these days. Still haven't got around to asking about the PSC test. Have to do that soon. Then there are the lecture test to study for, the tutorials to do and trainings to miss.....oh well

Currently, having a low period.....I am so damn bored.....and restless. Not sure why this is happening and how long this will last.....ARGH....

My life is so sucky! Meeting a senior this Saturday to return him his equipment. I am hoping the meeting place is far away from clementi. I have an allegery to that place.

Just heard from a friend that a girl from school has been robbed and slashed in board daylight. OMG! Singapore is rather unsafe these days. But thieves are really disgusting.....which reminds me of the bastard who stole my bicycle seat.....if you let me know who you are.....................

what are you thinking.....tell me........oh and I am quite a gay. DARN.

I just took a 3 hour nap. Wahhhh......really just to burnt out to do anything...haha

Today has been rather mixed actually. Some good and some bad stuff happened. Life is such a whore. So fuck it....lol

Anyway, I think I better get down to work fast, still have my soccer game with the guys tomorrow...ahhh....I am too slack for my liking.

My mind has been invaded.....I feel so helpess....like being raped....

Damn tired, damn shag, damn sian. I shall go enjoy first.

Mylife needs some order......now..........you are screwing me up a lot......please don't do that.

I miss training I miss fencing I miss the competitions I miss winning.....but i just to FUCKED UP and lazy to do a shit........If only I tried to juggle both.....HIAZZZZZZZ

Just for the record...FUCK GP....and FUCK school for that matter as well...

Beocming a little more pissed with school, a little more lazy and a little more self destructive.

MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME?

FUCK! I haven't even finish any fucking work because I am fucking lazy and there is fucking GP. SOME FUCKED........

I just want to stay at home, roll about and just don't do anything.......SCREW UP YOU FUCKING BASTARDS........I HATE ALL OF YOU SHUT UP....YOU CHEE BYS.........

I want to be alone alone alone.....you bitch....no it aint your fault....it is mine and mine alone.......FUCK IT CHEE BY!

OK......an enjoyable haircut which cost 7 dollars. Money well spent!

I am not letting myself down this time. But why do I keep finding myself talking about idiotic fencing.......

DAMN. Just forget it.......forget it......1.2.3. FORGET......YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am happy now......now for the second test.....hmmmm

So, the day goes and I got sick of doing work. Not that I have done anything really productive. Off to Jurong Point, the only place that vaugely resembles civilisation in this GOD FORSAKEN part of Singapore to get some much need clothes. That made me about 60 dollars poorer.

Just a side note, clothes are really damn expensive. A pair of long pants and a pair of shorts for 60 dollars?!?!?! I shall consider being a tailor next time.

Then, I went to have dinner with my mother and took the train back to CHINESE GARDEN.

And found out that some fucker had stole my bicycle seat on FRIDAY / SATURDAY / SUNDAY. That bastard have to die of penile cancer!!!!! Or get raped if she is a girl. That bloody thief stole my thousand dollar kangaroo leather bicycle seat, ergonomically crafted to fit my and only my ass, the one and only model left in this bloody world, built by the same master craftsman which forge the frame of LANCE ARMSTRONG'S BICYCLE, containing 3420 ISO certified aluminium spring alloys guaranteed to maintain the same force constant for 3 lifetimes........WTH.......

I SAW MY BIKE WITHOUT ITS SEAT.........and got the shock of my life......


YOU BLOODY FUCKING NA BEI THIEF YOU FUCKER!!! CHEEEEE BYYYYYYYYY

I keep spelling my and by wrongly......FUCKER!

I am still restless....damn.

What the hell am I thinking about....get back to down now! If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Don't try to hard ya? OK.

Huh.

Oh well. Anything goes...I am still vomitting from analogue electronics. I think I shall go take a long break. This world is too complex for me. I need some advice. But I don't wish to ask.

bye.

Suddenly felt very anti-GP. I really don't understand the use of the subject....to make you like understand the world better...through fucked up stuff like the JUST WAR THEORY and HOBBESIAN WORLD.....and whatever fucked-up-nonsense.

Not that I disrespect the philosophers that created all this stuff, in fact, I reall do admire some of them as they make quite a bit of sense. BUT, what is the good damn use of forcing me to study all this shit when the most I am going to do is to write a bloody damn piece of essay...CLAIMING I know of the fucking reasons why everything is happening to the world.

Ans as I told some of my classmates, what is the bloody use of hiding in the air-conditioned LT discussing about the world? Hoping to change it? YOU MUST BE JOKING. And especially all those fucked up teachers would are so stuck up and think that their opinions is so fantastically great and their language is so fucking good...if you are that great, you wouldn't be stuck teaching bastards like me. And don't give me the bullshit that you like teaching more than getting rich...

GP is really fucked up bullshit....I can't believe that I am swearing so much over it.....and I just watched the I-contact show on channel i. That was equally bullshit. Now we have students trying to get their two cents of bullshit and ministers trying to explain some fucked up decision they have made. One side willing to waste time and ask fucked up questions that will never be considered seriously, the other side willing to give some ever so fucked up answers....Those earnest students....those yearning faces..and that oh-I-can-change-the-world-attitude.....COME ON......you fuckers don't want to do that......ADMIT IT......

Show me some action.....and I will show you the meaning of GP....