It is 12 27 am already. 2 months into my second year in RJC. Hmm...away past my usual bedtime because normally, I would be run ragged by training and cannot make it pass 12 am except on 1 or 2 occasions.

I think the main reason for my blues is coping with the heavy burden of academics and fencing. Having such high expectations of things, I cannot allow any failure. The demanding training schedule as sort of become a routine. And thus, my studies are arranged around this routine, something contrary to my principal thatr studies always come first. In fact, I am so used to training everyday that my studies, I feel, is taking a backseat and deteriorating! THIS CANNOT DO!

So, I say now, that my studies, is THE MOST important thing now. If fencing, which is my other passion can coexist 'harmoniously' with my studies, then good. IF NOT, I am afraid, fencing is second. But until then, I will do my best to juggle both. It has been done before, and I see no reason why I cannot emulate.

The only problem is when do I know that I cannot cope? The lack of strict parents offer no signal. The lack of the sense of danger too does not give a hint. HIAZ.

On a separate note, I am aching all over, and within the past 3 weeks, or ever since I realised that the cone ice-creams have been selling at $1 each, I have bought so many of them that I think it eclipse the number I bought for the whole of last year. Actually, it isn't a big discount. Just 40 cents, but it is about 35% reduction in price, and the price ONE DOLLAR, just exerts a pyschological effect on buyers, MAKING them think that it is cheap. The stall holder has been doing a roaring trade. I go around the canteen and without fail always spot a few people eating those $1 ice creams. She has also stocked so much of it that those cones take up more than half the space in her freezer! That is testimony to how popular the cones are these days.

Amazing how I can go on about ice cream....I have to find out the name of the ice cream....

Feelingly drowsy now....bye.

I am feeling extremely drained....mentally...ever since I went out for 10 mintues just now. Totally lost it.

This cannot do.

Sometimes, people cannot take no for an answer. It is especially so if that someone thinks he/she is doing a service for you. Such people absolutely pisses me off. How do you know that YOU ARE FUCKING HELPING ME?

YOU are totally creating trouble/ wasting my time and wrecking my mood. FUCK OFF.

As I am typing this, I can hardly contain my rage.

And just for the record, some people are so plain fucking stupid ( not in the intellectual sense, as in lack of common sense ) that they should just die.

I experienced a little of the GOD MODE yesterday. I need that all the time.

Anyway, yesterday was totally unproductive. I slept after showering, which leaves me with 3 tests to study for today. Monday is gone, at least for me due to training and since I am not the talented one, I cannot afford not to go as I wish. SO SCREW IT! Tuesday will be the day of tests. All 3 to be exact. I have to somehow get my HIGH As without as much effort as usual.

Was going to rant about the minister AND ministry of education. DUMB BASTARDS. It comes down to the age old debate of whether change is good. The Chinese have a saying "no change to deal with all change". I find this extremely applicable for things like moral values, principles and others that should not be compromised under stress. The passion and drive and determination for success, for example. How apt. I have to do just that. Be unyielding in times of setbacks. Because, the lights comes in a week's time.

SATs are not required anymore. SCREW IT. I hate the Education Minister and MOE of Singapore. ISA, come get me. NOW.

I have failed. Again. Consistently good is the key phrase. What the hell is wrong with me?

I let slip a very good chance. And he went further. Just because of one fatal mistake. SHIT

In this universe, I have found a person so similiar yet so different from me. The drive, the determination, the passion, the spirit is just there. And it cannot be taken away.

On my 18th birthday, I was training. And I will do so until I reach the top.

This IS the EARLIEST I have ever returned home from night training. And tonight's training was one of the weirdest ever.

I am FREAKING sick of getting screwed everything during 1 to 1 lessons with the coach. FUCK. I am getting used to the screaming, the yelling, the slashing and everything bad associated with screwing up. THIS WILL NOT DO.

FUCK.

Hiaz. I am disappointed. I almost did THE perfect chemistry practical for the test today. Perfect as in understanding each and every step, getting the theoretical answers and finally the conclusion which will tie up and add meaning to all the previous steps.

Sadly, I screwed up again. The first round of heating was done haphazardly. So I thought that I would do a second round since time was sufficient. BUT, in my quest for speed, I placed the heated test tube with all its contents immediately under RUNNING TAP WATER. The test tube broke and all its contents went down the drain. I finished heating a third sample but time was up. DARN. And I couldn't carry out the rest of the test. Terrible time management there. Got to try and improve it over the next few practical sessions I have

BUT, a consolation would be that after handing in the paper I continued the experiement using the third heated sample and got all the expected results, which was really wonderful. I even think through the whole practical. The beauty of QA... Just that I was doing it after I handed up my paper. DANG

Anyway, I find it quite crazy that I am obsessive enough to go on and on about a stupid practical test. The point here is I think I am doing it not for the marks but for the need to satisfy my quest for perfection in everything I do.

I can't wait for the test practical test. Not biology though. I am seriously looking forward to the common tests. It would be a good chance to satisfy myself. Hmmm...

Oh, and recently, I have been finding it hard to keep myself awake. I don't know why. Better go do some work now. BYE.

It is amazingly that people still debate on the 'Why I blog'. ARGH. Boring. Who the whatever cares...but apparently that is only my wishful thinking. A lot of people do care and if you ask me why....haha...I don't know.

My whole body is aching, I still I might be falling ill and my back hurts....

MUST be the screwed up sleeping pattern. DARN.

DAY 4 of b-twotw

It seems that my plan of sleeping early and waking up at 4 am the next morning isn;'t working...as planned. Which is bad. The motivation to study has been seriously lacking this few weeks and immediate retification is required. That means it starts tonight.

ironically...

I just spent the past 3 hours indulging in a book called 'Longtitude'. It is about this man John Harrision who invented a method to calculate longtitude. I found the book lying on a shelf in the library today and after flipping thorugh a few pages, found the content and style of writing exactly suited to my taste. Still ahve the last 20 pages or so to go though....

I think I have read much more in recent months than in recent years.

And it is terrible environment I am in. The people, the things, everything. I am in it too. But I have long learnt to adapt to it, rather well I may say, and don't intent on stop doing so. And doing it well.

God forbid, demise upon thou by no other than thou

Everything comes at a price and the inferiors cannot win no matter the price.

DAY 3 of b-twotw-night

I have reached the first stop, in a journey that I hope would never end.

I think my studies are getting affected. This is not good. I get this ominous feeling growing inside me every single moment of my waking hours. This is not good too. It saps too much energy and prevents me from working at maximum efficiency.

Somehow, whenever I think of efficiency, I think of Germans.

I am having a nice mood now. For what reason, I am not sure. Such is my life. I am totally puzzled about my limits. The talk today made me realised that I am not so far away from adulthood already. And my actions now may, or in fact will, make drastic changes to my planned future.

I have enough of motivational talk. I want results. NOW. And I shall go work for them. NOW.

...ironic?...

DAY 3 of b-twotw

Just got home from the PSC talk. I am highly impressed by them. It seems that the prospects of a PSC scholar is extremely delicious...haha. But seriously, I am impressed. Not only was the speaker highly interesting for the entire duration of 2 hours, which is rather rare, but the programs the scholars are invovled in too. WOW. It has been an enjoyable session.

My butt hasn't even warmed the seat yet, and I have to head out for training in 1 hour. Hiaz. What a hectic lifestyle. I need to get down to studying for the chemistry practical and theory tests. It is going to be the first lecture test of the year, and I want it to start right.

Shall go plan my schedule for the rest of the day.

And I will do it.

DAY 2 of b-twotw

WHAT THE FUCK

First this, then second that. But I got this time and that time to right all the wrongs.

I must make FULL use of the first time, and then, fuck it all the way during the second, then forever, I will be KING

DAY 1 of b-twotw

The cresent moon came out early. Was cycling home after a snack with some friends when I caught sight of it.

And sure am lucky. Just got slapped with 10 questions of Maths S to be handed in this wednesday. FREAK.

I seriously have a lot to do. Realised that people around me are really stressed too. I saw one of the them, one which I thought was the happy-go-lucky type with a book "Living With Stress". I should get that book too.

But right now, it is back to a marathon session of Maths S. Not to mention the mugging for the up coming lecture test that I am sure wouldn't not be satisfactory. DARN.

BYE. The lastest issue of Time magazine is a good read. Go get it.

I want to cry.

I want to cry for the fragility of myself.
I want to cry for the fragility of life.
I want to cry for the disapppointment I am.
I want to cry for the chance I spurned
I want to cry for the things I promised but didn't do
I want to cry for the expectations I didn't meet
I want to cry for the people that believed in me

I am a let down. I was doing it for myself and so many others. But I failed. They don't know, don't feel it. But I hurt doubly hard.

I just cannot cry.

Just heard some news that someone in school has passed away. I seriously don't know how to feel. I am saturated with sadness already.

I am utterly disappointed. What did I do wrong? Why is it always like this? Do I have to admit that he is better than me? I have a few reasons.

Poor preparation
Poor focus
Poor self confidence

But I don't want to make any reasons for myself. I really want to swear. But would it help matters? Would it change things?

I really feel like crying.

4-5
5-3
5-2
5-1
2-5

15-3
1-15

It seems the threat the administration made was rather real. Quite a few people got booked for what I think will constitute only a minor offence. It is a miracle that my shirt stayed tucked in the whole day last Friday.

Considering how often that it is out, I think it is really a miracle.

Today has been a slow day, drifting in and out of sleep in the afternoon, and trying to finish as much work as possible. But my mind and heart is on other things. I cannot exactly concentrate on studying right now. Darn.

But, my master plan still has to go on. Didn't really do much today. Shall try and make use of the rest of the day with taxing myself.

Anyway, I watched the MTV of 'Hold On' by the band Good Charlotte online just now. It was a song recommended by my classmate. I initially thought that it was a very meaningful song. After watching the MTV, and realising that it is a anti-suicide song, if there is such a term, I think it is even more meaningful.

People often say you cherish the things that are gone. In that case, I rather not cherish anything at all.

And it seems the whole school population, or at least the more harworking lot of it is lamenting how tough school is. On the contrary, I think school is damn slack. Either that or I am slack, or maybe I think I am slack. Whatever the case, people should sometimes look around at the things people are doing...and I don't mean myself.

Maybe, just maybe, I missed a good chance 5 years ago. Making up isn't the same.

Just finished maths assignment 19, which took me a good 1 hour and 20 mins for ONLY 3 QUESTIONS. I am not very efficicent. This probably have something to do with the fact that I am not paying ANY attention in lectures. I don't know what the hell is going on for ODE and electromagnetism now. Then I have to waste time figuring it out on my own. There is certainly room for improvement. I am trying to poerate at maximum efficiency.

Shall do Maths S tutorial 4 now.

I have termed that stage/phase/feeling/mood.....god mode/trance....etc....And on SUNDAY, I will do it.

My room is in a totally mess now. Every inch of my desk, bed and floor is covered with papers. And I have a really huge desk. But I like the way my room is. It is the place I am at almost 90% of the time at home.

I have said this to somebody before. Boy, I have a darn good memory.

I need that elusive feeling.....

FRICK...I need to concentrate...I cannot afford to screw up on Sunday.

My back has been aching terribly since the leg raisers that faithful training. I should learn to protect myself a little more. I am hoping it is nothing serious like a slip disc. Because not only will I have crippling painful sex instead of enjoyable sex as someone put it, this problem if chronic will be one of the most unfortunate to date.

I cannot move properly. OUCH...

Time is priceless, but money can buy time.

Since time is priceless, it is very important to save time. If money can help you save time, then you will make a net profit every time you spend money to save time because you are spending a finite amount in return for an infinite amount.

Therefore, I have decided to get the physics guide book.

Really busy today...hiaz..and to think that today is my only free day. DARN. The school has suddenly gone bonks and imposed martial law on everyone. As a result, I have to go get a haircut now. FREAK! And I always screw up my haircuts badly!

HIAZZZ......

I will start work at 9 pm today, in accordance with my master plan.

I have two questions that need to be answered...

How can joy be shared
How can I prevent myself from not sleeping, yet still feel fresh

The world is a cold place. I cannot relate to the term 'sharing'.

Woahhh.....I am feeling so darn good!

Today's training was marvellous. Firstly, combating yield superb results. Was feeling super bloated after the second bout. Wanted to vomit out all the water in my stomach. DARN. Then, the person I hate most...that is an understatment...asked me to fence him. I was like...oh man...what if I lose...I should really rid the pessimism out of myself. Was trailing 0-3 at first..felt utterly disgusted with myself, but amazingly, didn't feel any panic. Then, the fightback came. The first I remember was me leading 5-3, 6-3, 6-4,...and I never looked back...I think the final score was 10-4. But the weird thing was for the first time in a long time, I feel really good fencing. I felt that I was in total control over my body and anything he threw at me was useless. That was a great feeling. I need it on SUNDAY.

I was being a totally fricking bastard because of excessive celebrations with the spectators and for the last point, I told them that I was going to do a stunt. And I did it...not really the why I hope it would turn out, but good enough.

Now back to physics S. DARN.

Before I go, interestingly, another friend of mine told me to go get a girlfriend or something because my life is all about studying. He doesn't have a girlfriend.

I am in a light mood today. Catch me if you can...

I had my GP comprehension test today. It would normally have been a waste of 80 minutes of good time if not for the fact that it was held in the library today. In fact, it has always been held in the library, just that today is the first day I noticed something.

In my school's library, there is a middle aged woman. She is one of two librarians. Going about her work, she is a sucker for rules, carries a pissed off look everywhere she goes and loves to get students into trouble with the disciplinary board. I wonder if any of the 3 above actions give her any joy. In my opinion, I think such a temperament will only consume her from the inside and such a life is so meaningless. Working happily or working in a foul mood is still working. I wonder if she gets extra pay for catching students on their mobile phones.

Anger is difficult to control. I think it is a behaviour problem. I found myself today.

On a separate note, I need to be more hardworking. workworkwork...shall be my one of my many mottos from today onwards.

If there is ANYTHING that I don't want now....it is a FRICKING MAJOR HEADACHE. It is so bloody pain that I feel like banging my head against the wall. SHIT.

Training was ok...less screw up, but still quite screw up. I need good equipment man. All my equipment is destoryed.

I need new shoes, new suit, new mask, new wires, new grip and preferably new blade. I am still not there yet. SHIT.

GO TO HELL...I have a lot of work and a bloody pain in the head. AND A FUCKING GP TEST. SCREW UP BITCH!

The lull before the storm...?

Today has been a nice warm windy day. Why is it that time flies whenever I am enjoying? Work is procceding slowly on. Not very good, but not too bad either.

Got fed up with the faulty mouse wheel and after some tinkering, it is finally working properly. Also found a new use for the old school tie...it has become my curtain holder.

Oh, and true to my prediction, I am not inferior. haha. Not that I give a damn about the letter or IDA for that matter, I just feel that my hardwork should be given recognition. But it isn't always like this.

Anyway, read something interesting in the papers today. Someone's motto is to do the best with what God has given you. This is in line with the Plato's theory of doing things one is naturally suited too. But the problem is, where then does ambition go?

The final episode of Band Of Brothers just ended. I have to watch Hitler: The Rise of Evil. haha. I must say that BOB is a very very entertaining and touching show.

Am a little sunburnt now because of the CIP I did today. Standing in the hot sun waiting for donations wasn't particulatly enjoyable, but I felt real satisified that I did manage to do my part for charity. It seems that people think flag days are useless and stuff. But I think every flag day taught me a lot about society. Then after the CIP, the gang just slacked at orchard. We ate at some funny hainanese chicken rice store at Far East. Then went for ice-cream and continued slacking at Lido. Walked the length of orchard road, saw mark THE GAY...I had a feeling I would meet someone from fencing...BUT MARK IS TOO MUCH LOL!!!!...

Went to this outdoor charity variety show. Donated the most in my life to charity today..$4. Bought this windmill thingy to support the show and got everyone to write their wishes down on it. I hope they all come through for us.

Shall do some work tonight..cannot afford to slack around so much like last year. Was actually planning to revise the lecture test. I am in a terrible fix...shit...in a horrible situation.

I cannot believe I am inferior. The world is blind. definitely.

Very off. I cannot afford to be so off. I am so upset. STRESSED...

SHIT LAR...PISSED OFF.

cock up man. I am receiving mixed signals. And I am just so tired. I have to change that attitude. I have to recover my old self. This will not do.

I cannot afford to fail when I am so near. But the distance is relative. And it is based on a sole source. But, I very much would like to believe in what I have gathered.

For tomorrow. A long day. The morning WILL set the tone for a good day. GO!

Just got back from Physics S lecture. Hiaz. There goes my only free day. I am seriously considering whether to buy the guidebook. It will be useful but it cost about $18. I am in such a dilemma. DAMN....haha...Seriously, I should pay more attention in the lecture. I was just doing nothing for the whole 2 hours. Ironically, during civics, which was held in the canteen today, Mr Lee said that I must be more 'on'.

The dynamo light on the bicycle doesn't seem to be working. It didn't light up when I was cycling home just now, that despite vigorous pedaling.

Currently home alone. I think this is the first time in my new house. Quite pissed off that I cannot draw the curtain back to view the night scene because if I do that, insects will ocme rushing in. DAMN. I need to open the windows for ventilation man! So until I find a way to repel the insects, the curtains will be drawn.

The gastric problem seems better now. Have been watching my diet and how I eat. Probably spent more time chewing my food in the past week than 18 years of my life.

Have to do work later. I think I will go do

Math S tutorial 3
Maths tutorial 18 b
Chemistry tutorial 18 and some revision....

I am so behind in my work....life is boring...anything interesting happening out there?

Why don't I have lessons. I fear them, yet I want them.

The people, including the security guard around my estate is really quite friendly. I wonder why. I think the security gaurd knows me all too well because I am probably the only person thatn makes about 6 trips pass that gate every single day. The residents, on the other hand....are just really friendly. I am bemused.

The first pitstop of the journey is nearing. Just that I have one more hurdle to cross. I am going to smash through that obstacle. NOTHING IS STOPPING ME. I cannot afford to diasppoint anyone anymore.

Should I start work at 9 40 pm instead of 10 pm? I am currently wasting time talking to YF.

I have switched to taking many small meals instead of a few heavy ones.

Recently, I really love to sleep too, and the stomache a few days ago turned out to be more serious than expected because it has lasted for 4 days. I am now on magnesium hydroxide tablets prescribed by the doctor. It is gastric and is stress related.

More stress coming up with the U 20s in 11 days time. The goal has been set FOR ME. I need to be a medalist, which means a top 4 finish. I am gunning to be in the finals. I hope everything will work for me on the 22nd, luck included. I am not going to disappoint myself, my coach, my seniors and most of all, people who believe I can do it.

I hate my biology teacher. She is a fraud. I can only imagine 2 cases. 1. A darn good fraud. 2. A darn lousy teacher.

I have to do my Physics S now. Good luck to myself. Later

I am glad that I can get along with very nice people. I love to be able to relate to some people.

My belief that neither happiness nor sorrow can be shared with people other than maybe family has just been confirm again. Prove me wrong if you can. I hope I can be proven wrong.

I am going to chiong work today..and CIP

Realised that public transport is really expensive. It cost 3 times as much if I pay using cash instead of my ez-link, which I unfortunately forgot to bring today. Am in a rather good mood for once. But it ain't going to last long. SO DARN IT....hahaha

Would really like to catch "The Rise Of Hitler" on DVD. It looks like an entertaining show.

And I think I have bitten off more than I can swallow. DAMN.

Have been blog surfing. I gather as much that everyone have their set of problems. Some of them are similiar to mine. But I think what makes the difference is the attitude towards that problem. And I am proud to say that I am harsher than most people towards themselves, more determined than most people and definitely more crazy than most people.

I have a poor sense of danger.

Currently slacking with a shitload of work.

I saw fireworks today...again.

Hold On Lyrics

by Good Charlotte

This world, This world is cold
But you dont, you dont have to go
Youre feeling sad, youre feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
Youre mothers gone and your father hits you
This pain you can not bare
But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go through

Hold on....if oyu feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days, you say theyre way too long,
And your nights, you cant sleep at all
And youre not sure what youre waiting for
But you dont want to no more
Youre not sure what youre what youre looking for
But you dont want to know more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go through

Hold on....if you feel like letting go
Hold on..it gets better than you know
Dont stop searching youre one step closer
Dont stop searching its not over...Hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what youre doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Dont stop looking youre one step closer
Dont stop searching its not over....Hold on

Hold on.. if you feel like letting good
Hold on.. it'll be better than you know

Inspiration isn't it? I wouldn't let go.

I usually come here with strong emotions, either sad or happy, more often the former. But today, I am having seriously mixed feelings. I don't know how to feel. I am disappointed with my performace today. I should have given it my all. The end result looks pretty, but I think luck was more of a factor than ability. I am sad. I went into a pact. I wouldn't break it. But I would have to live with it.

I think I am going to fall sick. SHIT.

I need to get several things done today. I am not sure how to feel man.

My head is spinning from Maths S tutorial 2. It is impossible to do. ARGH...I find it extremely difficult and time consuming...ARGH...and I am not even halfway through after spending so many hours on it....ARGH....disgusting...

For the third time this year, the science centre set off fireworks. For what reason I am not sure. As a matter of fact, I am not sure if it is even the science centre. But the important thing is, I caught 'live' fireworks. It was not breathtaking. But unqiue in a certain way. Quite pretty. But not very pretty. The last time I saw anything remotely similiar to fireworks was on New Year's Day at YF house. That time, it was ship flares.

I am going to shower, do some light work and just relax. Preparing for the baptism of fire tomorrow. Currently feeling a little jumpy. My stomache has been not right this whole day and I am not 100% injury free. This is not ideal..but will do just fine.

This whole week has been all about sleeping. I slept at 10 30 pm last night, which is my earliest this year, I think. Woke up at 5 30 am to rush work that was due and in the afternoon after I got home, proceeded on to take another 1 hour nap. FUCK UP.

It has been a very unproductive week.

Just now, I was at my worst. I am a FUCKING LOSER.

I desperately need redemption.

Realised that the world is a really cold place. I cannot blame people for the way they act because I would do the same thing too. Just that it is really sad that mediocrity is a lonely place. Although, some warmth is still about at times, it is essentially a sad, lonely, cold, winner takes all place. FUCK UP

I am going to be a winner on SUNDAY.

FUCK IT.

Just got home from a terrible fencing training. My right hand is totally slashed up. Why does it always happen to me?!?!?!...There is swelling but that has gone done by 200%..no kidding and cuts and blood and EVERYTHING! argh. So pissed off. I wonder if any permanent damage has been done to my right hand..

So, tomorrow I am free...from fencing. On the way back, I just had a nice talk with one of my seniors. I think he dispense very good advice. The problem is whether I take it up or not. As usual, I wasted 3 hours away not doing anything. Screwed up totally for short. I don't see myself at their level yet or in the future for that matter..and this is highly distressing because everything will be for nothing and sacrifices have been and will be made time and time again...This is terrible man...

Now, I am at a junction..3 S-papers or fencing. And again, I am asked the question " You don't need to study meh?" and been told that I am a J2 with A-levels coming up.

Just a side note, hanging out with the fencing people is extremely enjoyable. At least that something positive...see you on friday....and YOU WATCH OUT....DIE BITCH!

Have been slacking since Monday. I think today will be three days in a row. I can't affort such idleness especially with studying, fencing and blogging taking up so much of my time. I have already given up on gaming due to the extreme shortage of free time and the lack of interest not because the games ain't appealing but so many other worries are crowding out any mood to play.

Btw, I watched A.I. laast night and it was a very good show. But it didn't take me away like it took YF away. Maybe because such a powerful theme has been on my mind for a long long time. And another show which coincidentally had Jude Law playing a minor role-Glatica-is a little similar in terms of the presentation and style. The theme though, ain't the same but it does overlap a little when it comes to talking about the human drive and passion. However, I liked the way the director linked events in the movie together. Seemingly unimportant things in the begining turn out to be key in the end.

I need an avenue...desperately...I wonder how much more of it I can take. The only thougth keeping me sane is the thought of eventually success...and that is diminishing all the time...I can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel...

I am wasted...a robot programmed to achieve and will die in vain..that is me.

The internet seems to be acting up..again! First, the router couldn't help me connect to the internet automatically...and second, it seems webpages cannot be viewed without using a proxy!...At least this is only for the desktop. The laptop seems to be working fine...I better pray that nothing is wrong...or else it will be I who would be most troubled...

Due to severe miscalculations, I had to go home at 4 pm today to get my fencing stuff. On the way to the MRT station, I saw little students, but once at the station, it was a whole different story. Akways had the impression that going home early after school is wrong. Even if you had nothing to do, you should at least stay in school for a while to talk or have lunch...thought that those people didn't have a life..shuttling between school and home without other places to go or things to do. But today, I saw really happy faces at the station maybe I want them to be happy? and they seemed really pleased ot be on their way home after a day's work to R&R maybe I am the one wanting them to go home...whatever and whichever...the simple things in life always bring up a smile...

maybe I am the one without a life...

loads happened today....it will be a long night...despite this and my persisent complaints about not having enough time, I seem to always have time for blogging, online chatting and today, to watch A.I........

boy am I guilty....damn it...

A part of me would like to do some work. Another part of me wants to give myself a rest and go play the PS2, eat instant noodles and talk rubbish online...hiaz...what a happily difficult choice to make....LOL

All my fencing gear is damaged. I need to borrow from someone for the competition on Sunday...which will be the day I am going back in.....PLEASE OH LORD...give me strength and courage...bless me with power and vigor to defeat those evil ones standing between me and glory....BTW...I am not a christian...LOL...nor a muslim for that matter...

KA-MA-TEI

I finally got my ass down to the bookstore and helped my friend bought his book and 2 cases of pencil lead...hmm...that is good. Because I have managed to convert the vouchers given to me into cash by doing my friend a favour so that Popular would nto be able to make more money than I am willing to let it do so.

too many minds...no mind...

If you still don't cherish every single moment of combat and put in 100% concentration and just focus on your opponent, nothing will ever be coming your way.

I have had enough of all this. Tomorrow, tomorrow...no mind...

inspiration? yes...certainly...

It has been 3 and a half years since I last did a major upgrade to this PC. It still is working fine and over the past years I have been several other components like an LCD screen and a CD writer. Oh, just to divert a bit, I think for the whole of 2003, I didn't pirate a single thing. I am back in business now. Please, if you need to duplicate anything, just contact me. Quality assured at minimal price. I really like my PC and I don't plan on dumping it until it is at least 5 years old. Just that it is a pity I am missing out on all the latest games even thought I have broadband access....opportunity cost? haha...I don't know anything about economics.

Just spent the last 2 hours solving A math problem...this is so time consuming. I shall move on to other subjects too. And as part of Hari Raya celebrations, I have decided to slack after night training. It has been ages since I last touched the PS2...

Lalalalalala....arghh.....my father is doing some DIY home improvement project...nothing too glamorous, just hanging up some photos. I realised that my family don't have a proper family photo if you exclude those taken during holidays or certain functions...and more often than not, either there are other people in the shoot or some members would be absent....does your family have one?

I think I might not be getting a digital camera after all...my interest in it is waning....I don't know why. I used to be very excited about it...but maybe I am just a fickle person...

Have a nice day.

Too many minds....I think I would have to calm down, do some meditation and learn to concentrate.

A cold dreary Monday to start of the week...it is raining again after a few days...what a good day for sleeping..hiazz...

The newpapers today have very interesting news...like the McBinge article and the one on the stampede in Mecca...which is according to someone, "God's will". Woah. If everything is God's will, then ambition and drive and passion for success can be chucked aside.

ARGH...just received GP work...I aint touching it until after night training.

concentration...work...training...sunday.

Currently doing tutorial 16:carbonyl compounds of chemistry and am having a ball of a time. It totally rocks. I am having so much fun now...hahahahaha...

The nightly announcement asking visitors to leave in 30 mintues time at the Chinese Garden just boomed across mintues ago at 9 30pm. I thought the garden closed at 11pm? Hmmm interesting.

And somewhere across Singapore, fireworks have been going for 2 nights. I missed them both. My brother caught it from his window...Yucks! The view from my room is sorely restricted by my neighbour's house whereas he has an 180 degree viewing range....ARGHHHHH....THIS IS SO UNFAIR! I missed the firecrackers at the ChingGay parade too! ARGH...

Sucks! It is almost 10 pm...Good grief! I need to run..bye!

According to the Sunday Times, neoprints and their spinoffs have been around for 7 years. Til now, I haven't even taken a single photo from such booths. WOW. And after reading the article, I probably never will. I always have the impression that such things were rather cheap. But $8 for photos is way out of my budget. Ok, I am just a miser. LOL

The Life section of the Sunday Times is really quite interesting. For instance, there is this article about corkage, which I previously know nothing about. Corkage is the fee paid to certain restaurants when you bring your own (BYO) bottles of wine or champagne. I have absolutely nothing against corkage but the prices they charge are really high! The average is about $30 but some high end restuarants charge up to $50 or even $100...it would be acceptable with a good reason...but there is NONE. Sure, I agree that one would have to pay a fee for the services, the ambience and allow some margin for profit. However, according to one such restaurant owner, they charge such a price because the staff need to do extra washing. polish of glasses, take taxi home and so on. WHAT UTTER RUBBISH! May I know how much of the corkage goes to the dish washing lady? And how much of the salary of the staff factors in taking a cab home? NONSENSE! Even if what he said was right, then explain why bringing a vintage wine costs more than bring non-vintages? I would presume that uncorking vintages and other lesser wines would take the same amount of effort...so correct me if I am wrong, the main reason for corkage is to make up for lost profit...

Any restuarant owners reading this? Comments?...LOL...

Still trying to make a trip down to Popular bookstore to cash in on the CNY discounts and to use some of the vouchers I have before they expire in a few months time. Have been wanting to go since weeks ago...procastination at its best...haha...if you want something from the bookstore, please contact me since it will be on my way...LOL

Things to buy...Pencil lead...what else man?!?!?!...I shall go tomorrow after night training....hopefully it will still be open.

And my lastest in money making schemes is to sell and send roses on valentine's day in school between classes and along clark quay or orchard...I wonder if the entreprenuers' club will take up my idea. I wonder what the hell are they doing man..I should really join the club..maybe then some of my schemes could be put into action

Other schemes include pirating the Biology Department's CD on microscopy and my friend's compilation of chemical reactions, setting up a LAN gaming shop in school, selling pirated games and being a hitman.

I should go and do work now...a long day ahead tomorrow...