i am having flu shit........wheezing away....n i shouldnt hav signed up for the dec 3 thing.....damn

As if you were born into a world of tears, you
always tend to look at the darker things in
life. Inside you crave attention yet push away
society, and you're a hopeless romantic. Drawn
to things like the occult and mysteries, you
spend your time daydreaming of "What
If's".


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

tt not true u dick.......haha...ok it is true......btw my hols sux.....i need sats to be over.....n den back to mugging 24/7 for the rest of dec......i wanna ace next yr...n it is bye bye sch.......haha.....FUCK i really waste my nov now tt nov is ending FUCK I AM CHEE BY PISSED.........

still too tired to write abt fri n sat.......but in short I CYCLED SINGAPORE.....wah lan....ass almost died......

oh n i tink i am more shit by the day....i won a 10 bucks borders voucher....by
talking......cock......wth.......haha

oh n darn gin way....CAMERA......no photos frm the lastest adventure....one heck of a ride...by julian ray jy gin way n mi.....5 guys 103479239587km....rain mud VEGGIE cards cramps sore ass n NO CAMERA! hahaha

n ri is getting damn sad......those cocks actually go spend so much on prom??? or is it grad nite? i prefer it grad nite....prom sounds fucking gay.....watever....n it came out on the papers......metrosexuals........i spent 0 dollars! HI BYE FOX AKA JAR JAR.......damn tt was gay haha......

used kazza a few days ago......still trembling in my pants....haha.......separate note.....everyone has NEW COMPUTERS....! I AM THE MOST BACKDATED.......yong lai porko jian yuan ivan bought his last week.......julian bought his YESTERDAY....my dad wanted to buy a 1000 plus LCD TV cum monitor.....NONONNO DUN WASTE MONEY.....the LCD i have IS LYK $880....pls save the damn money........

u noe.....i tink i will never spend much on myself in terms of material items......but i spend on LAN.tho very little now....TRANSPORT FOOD....nothing much luxury items for myself.....i am SO SAD......

soccer was gay..played 30 mins!?!!?!? field was damn mud......n i didnt noe it was last goal.....so i just didnt wanna slide julians dad.....n dirty my clothes.....damn! but 2 on target shots uite tyco but looks pro....cos i just whack onli.......n one crap shot.......but i run a while tired liao....maybe cos of cycling n flu.......panting lyk crazy..my stamina suck......but i was very tired frm cycling physically more mental......

FUCK I WILL BE FASTER THAN ALL OF U....BITCHES N BASTARDS......

6 more days to FUCKING SATS......so die......i screwed myself up big time lar...6 more days......going to hav to mug day n nite.......shall write abt the past few days tomolo during rest time frm sats.......really damn tired.......NO CAMERA.!

FUCK SATS N FUCK U N TT........

mediocrity is a lonely place.....hahaha.....i dun tink so.....i tink it is lovely...provided u realli dun hav any ambitions...or else it will be a painful place......na bei....damn sian sian sian

oh n i forgot.......FUCK SATS.......FUCK IT.sat n sun burnt......so FUCK IT......i tink i do 40 pp today can liao.....waiting for food to digest.......excuse........oh shit.....cut the thing out

job attachment was quite fun today.......n slack.......but fun.......n i got lost n ended in yish WTF

the day of 3 fucking shocking things

...if u though tt pple will forget their birthdays.....in drama serials.........think again.....i was one of those few.......my dad forgot his birthday....today......everyone else forgot....except mi.....LOL......so i bought a present n he was happy.....good......i actually remembered it a few days ago but slip my mind today..until dunno wat....ahha.....just back frm getting him his present

..if brings mi to the second fucking revelation.....if u tink a can of coke as in coca cola is easy to find.......think again.........SHOP N SAVE....the one at the basement of century square doesnt not hav a can of original coke.....not stupid bottled coke or vanilla coke.......REAL COKE.........NTUC is worse........they dun hav chilled vanilla coke in cans even! WTF.......so i settled for the bottled chillled coke

third.......pple can fucking hung for a damn long time.......on the y to get the present or the various parts of it.......i saw a teenage couple hugging under the void deck.....in the middle of it........WTF.......n after getting the present on the way back home i saw them again.........WTF......hugging........either one is going/dying/STD/pregant.....i tink they are fucking stupid.....

i tink coke is bloody unhealthy......i wanna do 50 pp today......i hate tomolo......i hate u......n i am fucking pissed........

singapore's library cant make it........the books are suppose to be there but they aint.......i checked the com......THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE........WAT THE FUCK

THE WORLD N MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN IT......ARE FUCKING CHEE BYS......GO EAT SHIT

round 2........

fuck u all lar chee by......love love love......love so much...go kum lan........wait until u get fucked den u noe......go fucking fuck off n sleep......kao bei so much......i am going anal all of u......fuck u!....wat objective..........just a fucking job.....tt needs to be fucking done....n done well...n after tt fuck off......n sleep n screw

fucking chee by pissed.....just had to wreck my last day.....fuck u.......i will be faster n more honest.......fuck it........chee by KNNBCCB

cut the fucking piece of paper out lar fucker

feeling sucky now......HELP....shower thinking packing sleeping

attack parry....THINK b4 riposte.........kena smack 4567 times by counter parry rispote......chee by........LOL.......ok lar.........chin damn itchy n pain....1 more make it gd.........form drop a little today......but ok...except for the nick 3 step exercise thing........even if he one step.......i must try n get out........tomolo do wif j n him.....n smack it.......n the rispote shit.........fing hell

fighting the dark side...lost focus n aim today..wtf....
should i go sim lim to buy cdrs n update on the tech stuff? i should...everyone has new coms n stuff n i am not in tt....grp LOL
i saw a lot of cheap clothes haha....going to buy some....or should i save the money....2 more trng to break...come on....10 more to rest focus....today...night v v v v strong....u all4 are so dead..10-3 10-1 10-2 10-0 hahahaha
should i go to the library to borrow books....or just mug sats

n should i touch gp.....fuck

i hav finally mad eup my mind....fuck it

was talking the matthew on msn....he seems happy going for obs....gd for him....i envy him....9 days of water air n monkeys...........WOAH....seriously.....as in...i tink he is carefree.........how nice......while i am getting fucked left right center..................fuck it

today is weird....sometimes ok sometimes fucked

all of barry trotters
prey
runaway jury
princess diana
david beckham

i wanna read those NICE BOOKS

FUCK SATS SUX...i am so fucking dead chee by knnbccb...
my pp is dead..die until i dunno........fuck struggled wif 10 LIKE MAN
ARGHHHHHHHHH DAMN bu shaung....even the arcade is against mi......

ok thou shall not step out of the house for the sole purpose of leisure for the rest of the hols except for twice....FUCK LAR FUCK LAR DAMN FUCKING PISSED

wat a time to fall sick...pro leh...now we are dicked....great...zero lor...dun get screwed is fake one....WTF.....cock up lar...i should hav told him on sat instead rite...now getting screwed...frm good to bad to terrible

if i told him on sat....wif his gd mood...i not onli probably will not get screwed but also can see his reaction...n tink whether tues go a not....

y does bad luck always befall upon mi? shit....n not to mention the mugging of sats....fuck lar...i am such a hum ji....go screw it lar.....n julian is not coming back until?!?!?!?! i tho on sun....wah lau waste money msg him! but he is one lucky dick can rest so long...tt dick.....can u pple all go n let mi rest in peace?

n something is worrying mi a lot....my apparent lose of arm strength....anyway...feleing on so wanted to do pp just noe...n i went up n i felt tt my body was very heavy...heavier than usual...i dunno y...might be cos of dinner...i not sure...but i noe i eat a lot recently n hav put on a feel kgs...maybe 5 i tink.....cos i am hungry all the time....i am gonna watch my diet frm now on....

wait let mi go try...i feel stronger now..just a bit fuck lar....my recent max is 10...frm a post promo of 6....n considering i now hav not so much time to do every other day..it was gd improvement....shall be 13 at the end of this month...but now...am i having so nightmare...or some disease?....13.........shit today is a nightmare.....

my brain doesnt seem to be working fast these days......damn.....have to waste a lot of time thinking......

went out today......to........eat?!?!?!?

after billions of mistakes.......i finally see someone spelling mcdonald's correctly.........YES........SUCH IS THE SATISFACTION....nxt wk or rather this wk depending on how u look at it......is suppose to be a gd wk for mi.....so damn it........

btw i am going out to lunch at 12 45........YES YES YES........but i still havent touch my work....n the final fantasy radio station is not bad....such tt it is always ffxi........90% of the time......wif dumb names...........i like balamb, dali, kalm.......not some crap like Gravi'ton, Queirirron, or some shit............BYE.........i am seriously screwed.......a bs......LOL

DID U WATCH IT...........n i forgot FUCK LAR.......

wtf.....f sats f today f myself bye....i am in a fing happy mood haha.shit really slip of my mind how man...i will be so fucked

pain.....gastric was pure torture...i couldnt stand up..almost died..but no one helped...expected lar haha....

shit forgot to tell coach not going on monday n tues....he will so rape me...n the past wks of oness....will be all for nothingl...fuck...lotsa scratches....pain rashes....n i am not in a winter country wats wif the cracking....fuck lar....at least can rest for abt 3 days ...mini break

gd trng today......first in ages.....it is coming back.....can feel.....10-3.....beat feint parry attack point....line......yes yes....more needs to be done....but this wk ends happily.....or today rather.....i need more work but so far it is at least getting better.....

saw donald n LOL

arghhhhhh the hols are too fast STOP......so gonna die for sats..LOL......i shall plan after dis sat afternoon...internet radio is not bad at all......

am i suppose to do all the hols hw? wats there???

physics tutorials 2
maths tutorials 2 + maths promo 2
chem papers 2
bio??!!??!

i somehow feel tt i am forgetting a lot of the hols hw? hahaha fuck it.....dec then i tink ok? ok..i how pro..can make it one lar......LOL.....

oh n nick jus told mi he is gonna mug liao siao for 1 wk to finish the chem syllabus...erp...huh....wtf....wth....tmd...knn..cst...ctb....hahaha.....siao leh u!

getting better but not there yet.....damn......haha.....my body is falling apart liao lar.....pain pain go away come again another day.....LOL

woah some pple are damn dumb.....example here

suppose i say.....my password is a day in a week.....there are only 7 choices isnt it?
n to think someone is so smart to do something similar...what is the world coming to?

maybe i should pick up my long lost hobby.....preaking.....LOL

tomolo shall be a good day.....got it.....i shall go wn shower now....n sleep bye....

great......to tink i hav to read this......damn

n am listening to sorrow of ffxi.......hahaha......i shouldnt wallow in self pity.tt loseristic...

my form's returning. yes, i can feel it. i've learned to take losses in stride. distance-gauging is still darn cranky, somehow, but i swear i'll fix that problem in time. there isn't much time left to novices in early/mid jan. i'll have to improve on my lunges and perhaps pay more attention to tactical play instead of the usual speedy bouts. but what i really need now is some sort of a mega confidence-booster. balls..


i shall change it to

my form's going far away. yes, i can feel it. i've learned to take losses in stride because i am to burn-out to bother...whereas last time i was so pissed at just losing. distance-gauging is still darn cranky, somehow, but i swear i'll fix that problem in time. there isn't much time left to improve. i'll have to improve on every aspect FAST. but what i really need now is some sort of a mega confidence-booster. balls..i shall inject myself with confidence too.....

I HATE ONIS PHONES......THEY SUX.....BYE I AM GONNA GET A NEW PHONE

maybe everything is an excuse.......damn
heel hurts lyk crazy worsen today man shit.....n i tink i burn out.....i want to win but just to tired of it all.....i need to recharge.....while still trng.....i wouldnt stop........

the lethargy is affecting the mind body n form.......n tt is wat i need most.....i must start thinking.......n get back form.....no excuses u sorry shit.......

my heel damn bloody fricking pain.....pls pls go away....

tomolo is exciting........hope for a gd day.....make it

i dun like waiting....i dun hav the time to wait.......n wat if the waiting never stops?

in 4.5 hrs i will be off to clementi.....i wonder where my parents are? i need lunch.......n i hav recently prefected the microwave cooking of instant noodles.......4mins of HIGH heat......will bring the water to a boil n the noodles will not be soggy......2 min will just heat the water up nicely.....not a boil tho.....i think tt will be lunch.....

there is a prankster abt...

the highly anticipated final fantasy 12.....thingy was held yesterday......i tink.....so i was surinf around reading blogs n updating myself on the lastest info on ff......again i must say......square has done it again.......their standards of graphics is so intricate.....everything is very detailed n certainly in a class of its own......rpgs like dc 2 tho wif original gameplay pale in comparision to any ff title.........simply the best i hav to say.....even mgs......mgs 2 is disgusting.....it fails to life up to my expectations.........n xenosaga......hiazz.....how sad......square should hav continued development....namco can go eat shit......

trng later.....my heel hurts plenty......i finally get to rest a day.......busy busy life....n fuck fri afternoon is burnt thanks to fucking idiotic bastards.........wtf.....can u pple hav some fucking brains a not? damn dumb......go screw urselves....did some maths....i am terribly out of touch wif work....but tt for another day.....

working on mon........hiazz skipping time.......i am trying to go for every trng.....trying isnt enough..the end results is all tt matters these days....fucked

training was not bad.. fenced Zheng xian and Jay.. got thrashed.. fenced like shit today.. very tired .. dunno why.. must have been drinking too much coke.. couldn't move.. ah well.. tml will be a better day..

look at the first part n second......how contradictary......i am pissed of.....takota......wth wats wif the swing n tyco parry or beat or shit......n i pull back lyk siao wth.....i tink i lost to him......wth....dman pissed.......nxt wk miss morning trng.....pissed too..wtf....i am pissed off......damn it........peak liao.....tomolo die suckers.......i am off form.....beat hit a billion times today....should beat n whack...not many many time.....fuck lar...damn pissed....parry riposte twice......i am fucked..........trying to get a ball......rugby ball......i hav 1 month.........lan lan bye.....

kena screwed......as usual....but it is my fault.......i just hav to will power to do properly.......wat the hell...if i were coach i would be pissed too....damn fuck.....n in 1-1......i hav shown how fucked up i am again.....i tink i am wearing him down.....

act quite ok.....write liao become pissed.........try to practise more of the drills man......shit.......

hiaz damn.....

just for the record...i slept damn early yesterday cos i was 50% bored 50% tired....haha

today ok..kena screwed a bit for forgetting the first exercise...this show my mental is still not tt......wtf.....come on....dickhead.....LOL

hav been waking up at 6 plus 3 days in a row....damn it....tomolo i hav to wake up at
5 45....wash up
6 00 leave house
6 15 train to jurong
7 05 reach juorng
slow walk to JTC summit.....so ks......haha.....n so well planned......

maybe got time for breakfast......

anyway got a sense of deja vu today.....cos at 7 14am i was sitting at TIEN CHUAN EATING HOUSE at the table furthest from the stadium in the same angle at the same seat doing the same thing......eating my breakfast and mugging sats...wow.....it was the same on monday n tuesday......

I REALLY REALLY HATE SATS.........shall go pack for trng n discovery tomolo n den mug sats n do some mathematics......cant let myself degrade......hiazz......

ok.....life is boring....

the tv is disgusting......one more look at it n i might as well go bang myself against the wall....studying is disgusting........i hate sats.....the computer is disgusting.......my eyes are so tired of the screen......i wanna dig them out....but it is the most enjoyable out of them all.....wth....sounds familiar? most hopeful out of the hopeless......most useful out of the useless..most potential out of the potentialess......hahaha.....soon..it will just be hopless, useless n potentialess......wth.....tomolo morning n night from 2003 to 2004...the desire is burning....waning......burning......

oh my heel...hurts.terrible. very painful.....

julian n yq are in australia n taiwan respectively.....ENJOYING THEMSELVES......while i am stuck at home complaining a lack of life.........hahaha......i hope there are nice pple on the 19...to think i hav to go training after the camp....wth......n i must act so not lyk myself.......fuck it........oops i swore.....according to several sources....my language is terribly vuglar n crude n obscene n disgusting.....no i am not proud of it....disgusting to the gut actually....i realised the number of fucks ha decreased dramatically.....credit to myself for self control..........2 more areas to improve myself........this hols shall be called self improvement hols.......

n i think some pple are truly happy people....cant sense sadness frm them.....i dunno if they r acting or anything....but being with happy pple can be gd at times....havent really experienced true happiness lately.....just lotsa complaints....LOL.....oh n i always tell those tt hav helped mi....i will definitely help u whenever u need it....serious......n nxt time.....i will give shopping centres away....LOL......tt just a crappy joke......

someday.....one day.....when will that day come....i need it to come ASAP...NOW NOW NOW damn it.....i am bored..considering sleeping..but dun wanna waste time....i shall go watch the tv.....again.......LIFE IS SAD........doesnt anyone understand how weighed down i am......it doesnt show does it.......dun tink......maybe being normal is gd.........

bye
zx

i take back the last statement abt how i wan my hols to be...i rather be wif the clique....i dun wanna meet new pple esp if they are gonna be freaks......i tink......i am gonna be surrounded by freaks....ARGHHH...help....

shit got lotsa stuff coming up..so i tink i better write down...ok

19th nov is the discovery! programme at firefly....which is just 2 days more...better find out how to get there too
21st nov i hav to reply to DSTA if i am going for the lunch and bowling thing held on the 3rd
24th nov is the start of dsta job shadowing...i better go find out how to get my ass there...
3rd tentively is the lunch bowling thing
6th dec is sats
7th dec is flag day

n there is trng everyday...i am gonna skip morning trainings frm 24-28....n late for night trainings
hope 3rd no training
skipping 6th for sats

tt all...busy....i feel adrenaline pumping up liao siao now...arghhhhhh...exciting..a bit nervous...

btw dis is wat i call a life...doing something new n different n exciting....too bad tt is onli for a few days.

my heel hurts...shit wasted some time today.....trng was ok...but need to move faster attack more deadly parry better concentrate more.....tt about everything i need......wat the fuck.....although there wasnt much this morning......i am pissed at my lousy showing at training again.......

I TOLD U TO CHERISH THE TIME U FUCKING MORON......u will regret u bastard.....stupid.....make use of the time!!!! or u will be fucked......
0/10
tuesday 3 of 7.5

and to tink most of my frens are busy upsetting themselves wif girl problems......gin way put in a fashion tt was so short n sweet......

those hav gf how to be in our clique.... haha.....tt very true....

y am i here lyk last fri when i hav trng at 8 tomolo n hav to get up at 6 plus......to give myself convenient excuses? ahha maybe although i would lyk to think not.....

just cant slp....probably cos slept in the afternoon today......experts say when u cant slp dun bother trying.....do something else......tt wat i am doing now....

saw my chinese teacher on TV......i really respect him.....he had the MOST passion for the language.....

i am being consumed by this agony....depression.....not cos of wanting.....but i just feel sick to the gut at times......it wasnt lyk this all the time.......it happens probably when i am being forced to do things.....tt is no way to live man.....sometimes i consider writing to him/her or whoever it was u noe.....but i dun..cos i tink tt weak....n i cant be bothered......but when i was trying to sleep just now...i was tinking abt y am i dis way u noe...wasnt lyk this before....i tink....haha...i dunno....they say there is always a price to pay...too high....too high...i tink i need some advice u noe...

i dunno wat he wants i dunno wat i want...in fact..i dunno y i hav chosen this path.....initially, the goal was clear.......n it is still clear....but i just live on these small bursts of energy u noe...some stuff to psyche myself up n get going.....one would be the extreme hatred of losing......i detest losing....i hate losing......pete sampras...although i dun lyk tennis i admired him as a sportsman..as a person...he said It made me hate losing....Ever since that moment, I just became obessed with being the best. It was like night and dat from '90 to' 92

at the end of the day....wat do i want......i just want to be happy.....to enjoy the simple things around mi......to be able to cycle around the island without worrying of training in the morning.....to enjoy the day doing wat i want to without getting home to get prepared for shit.....to love the sport for the fun i get......to go out n stay out late without fear of being too tired....to just talk with my buddies n muck around n not keep on pangseh them....to just be carefree n hav no worries.....

is tt too much to ask for......is tt too much for u to understand? but despite this.......nothing is gonna change......tomorrow....will still be tomorrow.....i need to sleep early to have tt wee bit more energy for morning trng.......ironic isnt it?

btw emotionally unstalbe is the lastest phrase used on mi.....hahaha not by someone though

1 lonely writer....3 people....and a silent reader....

according to dc2.....hmm.....one should live life as a journey to find something to protect...hmm....gaspard was driven by hatred until the very end...he turned back...only after his death.......hmmm....

i havent done any pp in many days.....i tink i will go do 35 later......must.....promise...

n i havent done anything productive in the hols.....onli just throwing myself into pile of shits.......from dis pile to tt pile n on n on......hiazz......n tomolo......will be 1 out of 8.....

n today..i see first hand......the crazy nature of our society......it should not be this way...but it is.....n s paper resutls are out....i got 2.....but not really very happy....i was expecting it......tt damn ego...but i am being honest......( just being out of point.....I HATE STUDYING FOR SATS......GO EAT SHIT)......it is just tt again.....some pple are being axed out of the system...gd for those tt dun care...but terrible for those tt care......hiaz....i will sorry for them but wats the use......hiazz........

n i really need to do those damn pp......waiting for dinner to digest.....n den i shall follow my plan later.......n my heel hurst lyk shit.....n i am feeling blue blue blue

hiaz hiaz hiaz.......wth........y so cock......living up to expectations is rather tough....yester.....got n inside on pples lives.........how shuang

monday lar.......i am too fucking tired.....but musnt forget the final destination......die jn die die die...dickhead

3-5
2-5
0-5
4-5
5-4

blow the lead against mark....julian nick are j1!..david chen 14-15...ok lar..dc 15-6..hiaz...i need to get into the mode damn fast..movement n all.....i am fucking off...hiazz...i need to cherish trng time man..wat the fuck..n i tinnk i was damn fluke against dc.....all my hits.... must improve n think lar....hit hand nice but fluke..fuck xian xian lar

tomolo..come on........1 shot.......make it count.....n happy happy liao HAHAHAHAH

i am fucking abt wif my msn nick lol

dc2 really is very gd........gp how shit.....

u noe.......somehow.....being seeked out by EDB n nominated by the college for all this scholarship things......it makes mi feel undeserving.....since i am such a fucked up chee by pathetic loser.....fuck it......

i changed my nick for the first time in ages......a few years i think......it is julian.....the toy...

their dream has be revived.......n so shall mine....onli.....

TO THE WHOLE WORLD...........McDonald's......not macs u wanna short form it is mcs!!!!!
not McDonald not McDonalds'..........the only thing i gain from pw.......apart for 4 new friends.......

but i dun tink it will last anyway....tt sad.....but inevitable......

i must stop wandering away.....mind elsewhere.....n put in 300% concentration lyk the sec 4 days........n not lose to j1s n beat the seniors......wow......tt it.....tt all i want....

LOL

ups n downs but ok......

lost to julian n yq....3-1 3-2......then must fight back derek 2-1 to 2-3..scary......beat nick 3-1 i tink.......n tyco beat dc....my concentration seems lacking....yes....i noe i am not focusing......i should not waste time there.....my ass hurts....heel too......cherish all the time man.....

step on a girls foot on the mrt today.......n she positively looked lyk she wanna murder mi i tink......i said sorry twice.....

n the barber say my hair needs no cutting......i told him just cut it.....n it looks terrible now....i shall wait for it to grow longer.......before showing my face to the world......LOL

who the fuck are you......tell me

terrible....

no ap
separated
blister blood
left heel pain
kena thrashed 5-1 wtf
parry rispote
dc 5-1 twice
laugh
fucked fucked fucked
no mood no concentration mental power fuck
tomolo trng.....fucking chee by.....fuck.....

I NEED GD EYESIGHT LAR....FUCK IT

help mi change my life........ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......darn it......

The Big Five Personality Test

Extroverted	||||||||||||||	58%
Introverted	||||||||||||	42%
Friendly	||||||||||||	44%
Aggressive	||||||||||||||	56%
Orderly	||||||||||||||||	66%
Disorderly	||||||||||	34%
Relaxed	||||||||||	40%
Emotional	||||||||||||||	60%
Intellectual	||||||||||||||	56%
Practical	||||||||||||	44%

i am watching a cooking show...i absolutely love watching cooking shows...hahaha

apocryphal To impress his friends, Tom told them apocryphal tales of his adventures in a big city....

so this is wat SATS is all about....wth.....

i am going to this discovery thing on the 19...job shadowing in 24-28...blah blah...my life is too fast for mi...i am struggling to catch up wif it....n wif my expectations....watever...this hols sux.........

n i was wanna do some stuff but just cant be bothered to u noe....i really want too but i think tt will be too on too extra too unlike mi...so tt it...another chance go by...hahah

hope today i will be really happy will noe in 10 hours time...praying bye.....

i sound lyk derek...wtf

pw didnt end wif a whimper....haha

trng was super slack at nite.....cos i think the morning one was tough..tomolo morning dun hav....nite combat....hehehe.....it is time.......fence yl......learn a lot....too tired to do pp....just hit 10...wtf....tomolo morning i shall wake up early n do n shower....must do...or else die again....

i tink they r gonna send 1 or 2 to ap....n i really wanna go....i mean everyone wants to go....i tink julian would go definitely from the looks of it....should be first choice..but i seriously dun tink i am lousier than julian...i dunno why...i tink i am equal or slightly better......but den again.....i am not coach....so......tomolo n saturday combat....i shall show him....but wat if i fail...i shudder at tt thought of another 5-2..i want 5-1...again n again....i am going in...overdrive mode....

got home frm trng had lunch....n resting.....shall bathe later...n cherish the remainding time.....oops...i tore yl singlet today..hiazz...n the coach rant abt the usual stuff coaches will rant....no money no results no facilities..nothing.....except for a useless bugger lyk mi wasting the alreadi barren resources of the federation......woah...argh..

yq made an interesting observation today...i told him the bball how come never trng....i tink they r the female national team.....n he said....we are trng more than professional sportsmen..women..watever....the coach was asking where we will be going to study next time.....american europe australia etc etc..i tell u...sports n studies dun mix......u can never be gd at both......never...ever.....almost lost the post....haha

anyway after yesterday high..i am back to normal..tt pretty fast..blogged down by all the shit tt no one is willing to help mi....i expected it...haha...

there is onli one word to describe mi.....burnt out....dead n gone....i dunno wat i am doing..for wat for who....i dunno wat will be the end result i dunno wat gd can i get frm the end result n whether i will regret not spending time on other things.....

am i close to mommy....ok....not very but ok.......but i keep troubles n problems to myself....wat for bother them.....no one can really help......shall shower n start work b4 12...5 hrs........

i didn wanna spoil tt post....but i tink everyone has 2 sides......u noe...everyone....the side u show....n the dark side u dun....be it cos u r afraid hav something to hide dun feel uncomfortable....watever.......i am no expection.....n i hate myself for tt......u stinking pathetic piece of loseristic shit.....i will better..bye.......still happy.......

i tink the previous post cant fully describe today.......woah!!!!

ok.......i must blog everything down before i forget....today has been lots of ups some downs.....but the best fantastic most fun day i had in ages.....i am happy.....for once haha.....ok acutally more happy den sad tt y it is net result happy hahah....

let mi start frm the begining of the day.....

woke up at a super ultra un-hols time of 6 am to go clementi for trng at 8 am....got there super early....lol.....den training was slack until the 1 min til u vomit shit......wah lan....seriously pt......thank god no black coat.....tt is also equally bad....haha.but den the rest of it was slack lar....the coach in a happy mood n must hav been shocked by our sudden onness....hahahaha wth...then bball n then off to sch wif julian for pw....the coach stealth around the bus stop until we both dunno hahaha...den on the way rj......we thought we almost miss the stop...n i just whack the bell.....n the bus stop n the correct stop.......LOL......den into rj......had lunch wif uncle alan's cooking...super oily but nice.....n kena diao abt 5-0.....so nonsense wif jieming ray diaoing ivan n julian....all cock for 1 hr plus.....den siam......then i took a shower in sch....change up n got ready for pw oral presentation (op)

after showering....saw allele at the canteen...decided to head to 3-4 for prep for op.....n i left all the important stuff lyk entry proof...pw booklet...promo results slip at the canteen....chiong back...thank god still there....ok so allele n i in the room stone about..then pock came in to look for results slip...which i presume is his lar...haha...cant find.....den pereira n yeo (py) came in at 12.....how early.....man...wth.....so we siam to another classroom....just muttering about presentation...pysching up....LOL.....n zhao lu n jia hui late late v late.......in the end everyone met abt 12 12 at 3-1....so adrenaline quite high there...n reciting n reciting.....den jas came also...saw the other group pple lyk matthew...yaou n diao her abt mrs toh......give mi the stare n said i dun lyk tt name stop it....zhi kai n i immediately ran away.......HAHAHHA....so after tt....prepare more then at 12 45....went to 3-4....had to stone outside for a while.....den the only copy of our ppt cant work..zl forgot to bring the pro one....lucky jh had a backup...but the com was suddenly switched off as we were loading.....den saleem com cant use......we had no choice but to let rj 068 got first....worrying tt we will hav to pw......thru the presentation esp QNA.....i KENA SCREWED FOR TALKING lyk wah lan......i was damn pissed.....n said if i dun on form i change surname.....hahaha........quite pissing....i get pissed at small stuff one lar...haha.....how pathetic.....ok......den after 068 finished with v hard questions lyk sample grp....which got mi screwed for trying to explain to our members.....in the end i didnt wanna say anything cos i was afraid to load them wif shit just minutes b4 the real thing....so we went to do the ppt......scared ourselves i tink cos couldnt work at first........haha.....i wasnt particularly worried cos i thot it wasnt very necessary for the ppt.....but good tt it worked......

so our presentation began wif ming quan.....he was quite gd atr the start....capture the pple wif his burger..py was smiling n all.but den he blank out....memorised lar....blank...den began to recite it to himself....for about 20 secs? hiazz.....then everything went down lyk shit......he started to be damn nervous n say wrong things lyk......GNC a lot of pills?!?!?! haha....damn funny....den jh was also a bit off......pronounced the name of nazlin imram wrongly......jumble the sounds up haha...zhi kai was not bad ok steady..den mi did the interview n back to zk....so far ok for zk....den zl super gd on form...den zk again to finisht he impacts..den instead of calling zl for problems faced......he called mi..n i was in dreamland thinking of how to save the grp op n the line up on the board.....WAS WRONG.....SHIT......i just remembered.....wat abt the timing by mr chan..shit heck liao..anyway..i just said not my turn wif some cock LOL..n give it to zl.....thru the op i dunno the time.....n i was afraid we might go over....n zl was damn on form talk all the pro things....n i was lyk ako being her hurry hurry or else no time ahahhaha....cos i didnt want our grp to hav to rush anything...it is bad...den MY TURN.....n i was lyk...ok....not going to well....but as mr lee say when the going gets tough....the tough gets going.....so i decided to just whacl the last part so tt the op will be ending wif a bang.....so tt my grp will be pro....cos they put in effort n dun deserve anything lesser than the best possible grade.......so i just switch to relax hot air talk cock bullshit on form mode...n started rattling nonsense trying to lighten up the atmosphere....make pple laugh n use the screw ups to our advantage.....ok i tink i did what i set out to achieve......good....so in the end it was a impactful n nice good ending...wif everyone being happy.....just tt i hope my grp members all score well..there isnt any fun in doing well alone....then QNA.......i feel damn guilty.....shit....cos o fthe jh think...i was on a high n rich vien of cock form....so i just chiong watever i wanted to say.....so loud until lck can hear from outside....lck was stnading outside supporting us.......how nice~! thanks man.....I AM REALLY SO SO SO SO SO SORRY JIA HUI....i didnt mean it tt way..i was trying to say tt something gd came out from my lecture cos pple were more on...i should hav just said for example pple volunteered stuff.....hiaz hiaz hiaz....shit shit FUCK MYSELF...damn it...shit i am damn gulity.....n i got an easy question while the others got tough ones........allele answered n p even shaked her head.....shit...i am gullity for tt....shit shit shit.......i want everyone to be happy n feel satisfied n secure...shit man...wtf....

THEN PW ENDED........ENDED HOW ROCK.......so all had to chiong some form.....which we made mr chan wait..so sorry too.....shit.....haha......n i diao lck abt pool losing..ask mi to shut up HAHAHAHA....2-1.....HAHAHAHAHA.....den i suggested go celebrate......maybe have some meal at ghim moh....i wasnt sure everyone or anyone would go......lyk just sort of end everything....a nice treat to a crappy pw year....haha.....in the end zk cant play bball rain.....jh not going o prep or something everyone went except mq.....who had a camp hiaz...wasted......jh suggested not to ghim moh.....n the four of us walked sharing two umbrellas blocking mr chan......halfway zk n i saim so let mr chan go first.....den we discuss where to go orchard white sands tampines mall amk toa payoh suntec....n it became suntec....so we took a train there....n i was how poorthing carrying my heay bag......let them carry for a wait.but felt gulity....was reading newpaper how the 5-0 went shit!.....walked thru citylink..tinking of where to eat...n zk remember zl wanted to order pizza on sun at mq house.....so we went to pizza hut for pizza.....spent abt 53 bucks....on a family meal thing n 2 coffee.......eat eat eat discussed abt how china was like....diao jh.....as usual....n abt how to decorate house n stuff lyk tt......den play some game...n zk is wah lau disgusting play wif food.....yuck..so got more spastic sugar the red stuff cheese some coffe salad pizza watever food peas beans raisins dressing....all mixed...n eaten....yucks.....predict all the numbers 77 33 50 haha so funny..den eat until 5 30 plus

then going home liao rite...haha...walked back discussing abt esplanade the hotels n lck wedding...den the girls say the weather v nice....normal leh?!?!?! go for a walk!?!?!? wif my bag n my trng sessionSSSS tomolo....i was lyk...no tired..but then even stoning zk was ok wif it...n i heard them say lyk the guys surely dun want or something....so just go lar...fun ma....n it was how true......first we went pass the break dancers...n got up the wrong side.....damn it....thanks to jh.......zk said.......HOW COME CAN SEE ESPLANADE......lyk shouldnt be we in the esplanade.....LOL damn funny.....went back down n up.....passing thru this linkway full of nice interesting art peices.......not bad.....look for a while....den stone by the bay...look at the scenery...n talking....talked abt wat we were gonna do 1 yr time 5 yr 10 yr n all the CBD building lyk how stressful is life how some are ambitious....n all..n we might meet each other 10 years later doing the exact time we say we dun wanna do.......hahaha...talked abt the obs stuff....abt gossips in sch.....abt rating pretty girls....abt how we want to lead lifes later....how time is passing so fast....how lucky our grp is so nice......it is really nice....how everyone seems to wanna marry b4 30.......i was silent on tt one......HAHAHA....how army is gonna steal our prime life....how different lives pple hav...aka those in the esplanade wif nice clothes n slack lives n damn rich....talk abt our class n the pple there....n abt fitting in n abt life in general the sad stuff the happy stuff the stressful stuff...just talking n talking.......n zk mum screwing him..until zk mum call to nag thrice?!??!! LOL....den we decided to siam at 9 14.....so tt curfews can be met LOL....

parted wif zl at the mrt station leaving her wif the GPF n lotsa pagination LOL.....zk jh n i all go east.....n we talk again...haha.however...zk was on the phone.smsing away dunno y....i dunno....he doesnt look v happy lyk troubled or something hiaz....maybe kena influenced by his blog......haha dunno....so got home......finally full moon......to end a fantastic day......i made 4 gd friends from pw....it wasnt the work the grade...it was the people.....i hope n tink they hav the same feeling too...my grp is just so close.....woah...i didnt think it was gonna be dis y.......RJ 069......woah....great thanks pple......n 10.11.2003......can we make dis a yearly thing?!?!?! i hope so go tell them.....woah i writing super ultra record breaking long.......1 hr plus liao WTH gonna slp.....happily tonite.....

if i had my way.........things wouldnt be this way......damn i should slp....lyk now

i hav been seeing the moon a lot recently.....tonite's full moon is brighter than usual.....tink it is pyschological......

did pw today...quite slack.....end is near.....presentation tomolo...i tink my slides look disgusting......but i cant be bothered to do anything to them.......entice using visual aids??!?!?! like how?!?! just did a rehearsal.....i am confident......in fact i enjoy speaking....haha

just kao bei.....mother.......damn pissed

got home damn late.....dead tired...how to train....n survive tomolo....wth
went out wif yf...shopping for xmas stuff n furniture n pictures for my room......it is screwed man...n saw yl....hope his granddad gets well....gay man....went into a lot of shops.....everything is just so expensive.....sian diao liao man.......den went to this art exhibition....quite pathetic...but still everything was 3 digits.......wah lao.....n spy on the game shop from afar....

i should start work soon.....in fact tomolo...10 wat a nice number.....also tt is when pw ends.....n my engine goes into full swing.....abt one month of slack liao........back to hustle n bustle man....

i hope my ezlink card isnt screwed....tomolo hav to wake up at 6 wtf....how sian.....i am damn slpy shit......screwed man

trng was weird man.....hope wat yq says is true......slacking now....how shiok....i go watch rugby....

i should really plan my hols soon......at least by this monday after pw.....shit...

sats
many many cip
trng
pp
revise hw....
do hw
copy hw.....

many many wtf

kena kan today lol...used to it liao......still say friday.....i am fucked man....da ri zi...is destroyed....damn it......watever......wat if my worst fears materialize.....hahaha.....

anyway trng was ok lar..tomolo still got....i really hope can go aus.....hiazz....but i dun tink so leh.....still got 2394013951 miles to reach them......shit

until tomolo

damn cheated n pissed....wth......waste time today......feel it is not onli mi but then again must lar.......ok friday nite then.......

i dunno y cant friday morning go eat shit lar fuck ups.......

fuck it pissed..

wtf i am so damn bored tt i am reading thrash....but it is kinda interesting cos i am so fucking bored.....fuck my life i hate it.......

http://grouphug.us/

once again i am in my room.....wif 2 coms....n i cant find the xp disc darn....everything is done half way.......sick of it.....fuck the bloody network...i am just plain fucked n bored

as jas put it V the whole class....not tt i want to....i just dun hav a fucking life.......fuck it....n it is gonna rain again.....damn

n there is pw.....

n i never see pereira.....shit....wanted to but....hiazz......she give mi back my work wif loads of positive comments aka sincere n positive attitude n evidence of this blah blah....n again she put in so much effort into marking my rotten piece of junk.....i tink she is a v v v v v responsible n hardworking teacher...but den i dunno y i avoid her....beats mi.....n she is my pw marker......n i hav pw to do.....i tink i shall leave it for 2molo ok? pia one day of fucking pw n settle it.....i tink i SHOULD MUST WILL go see her....should hav done it today.....shit man.....i am such an idiot i forgot all abt the future......shit.....

oh mondya hav to go sign up shit.....fuck forgot....wat if they take all the shit down......?!?!?!

my room is so much neater now....but not as neat n i wan it to be.......i need a maid.....shit lol

i found out tt if i shower immediately after getting home frm training i wouldnt feel sleepy unlike when i slack abt then go shower....i will confirm sleep.....shall do tt......saves time!

ok recent trng....last 2 to be exact quite fag....ups and downs.....but i cant really concentrate....lyk sian sian one....dunno y..numb? senseless...last time i used to put effort into combat n get damn piss if i screw up......now......nothing seems to matters.....wat is happening i am fagging away.....wat the fuck......i shall stop this NOW.....tomolo will be a new day n a new trng......shall put into it 100% concentration n effort......remember cock...it is to thrash.....not lose u bloody moron...tomolo all shall die...under mi LOL......

on a similar note....i am a firm believer of determination n heart n intense passion...those 3 things can always put u thru all the shit...n i shall need tt ever more...when every we hav some official match.....i always tell them 300%...lyk last yr.......play until u break n die.....u must want it more than ur opponent.....the self fulfilling prophecy my teacher said......damn it.....i wanna FUCK U SO BAD......DIE sucker

i wanna watch tv.....out of point wtf......i am fagging.....told u so...FUCK STOP IT......n somehow...i really want the bball team to win.....hiazz.....i just found a gd point abt individual sports......u onli need urself......FUCK IT......DIE BASTARDS.......

here i come......

i am feeling fuck....fuck it.....

i got into the dsta job thingy..wif who else but ivan......wtf.....boring....n lck called to inform wif a kao bei teacher kao being away behind....i tided my room....stuff is about 60% in order...can start work liao....hav to go copy all the horrible notes...lyk wtf....hiazz...later got training...gonna smack u sucker....lets see what i hav to do

copy notes
hols hw
mug sats
job shadowing...4 days..hopefully very very short no need to miss trng n very very sweet...lol
2 cip...shit i really need more hours...how screwed am i wtf
ps 2...dc2...ffx...ffx2...xenosaga..etc etc hahaha
training

should be lyk tt

got into job shaodowing?!?!?! just received the news......i shall go pack my room...trng how......n wah lan....i am pissed.....how come yester lose 5-2.....wth

i dun have much patience left....didnt hav much to begin wif....dun wanna wait liao leh......endure.......mental power.......the physical abuse is easily to take......i need to take the mental angiush as well.......

i tink i shall go see pereira on thrus........LOL!!!!

a day of mixed fortunes......quite sian......normally i will be pissed....but i dunno y now not.....maybe cos i kan kai le or maybe cos i no fire....dunno...a little happy dunno y.....anyway i wanna got to aus n i wanna prove dc esp.....i dunno y my fascination but yeah.......i should throw in my mental power n concentration man.......cheong......

just watched some channel u variety show........wah lau.bryan wong is the shen......all those crappy places he also can find........shen liao man........amazing.......i got a feeling they gang up one haha

i am gonna vomit......i dun wanna see mcdonald's every again....ever.....pw the whole of 2 days.......yucks.....i am so sick.....luck i tink the presentation onli need to touch up a bit more.....at most need 1 more day onli......heng.......n just do individual speech can liao....so tt gd.......ending soon.....ren......

i STILL hav bloody darn gp to do......n trng tomolo....i am pissed.....n cca......i tink i shall skip sch on wed.....n mug sats.......lyk wtf.....i really need a life.......shit.......K BYE.

i tink determination is a key to success.....i shall be more determined

my toenail......HURT LIKE SHIT

oh n my fren ask y i never change nick.....i was comtemplating tt thought.....but i dun tink so....my nick....is my onli link wif the reality tt is on the other side......

just print pw report......again 5th time liao.....wth.....i dun mind the ink....in fact i am quite glad pple are taking initiative......ok watever LOL

wah lau a! newcastle drew fag aston villa.........damn bloody pissed.....damn it......wah lau!

i did pw for the whole day.....ok....at least some progress was made....ok.....i am not gonna do gp hw....not a wise choice considering that pereira is the assesser n tt she ask mi to see her....shit....but i really no mood to do lor.....wth....

when home wif zk today...was talking abt some stuff.....n i feel a little depressed after tt.....just to quote myself....he kill u i kill him who kill who happy liao......hiaz....i cant stand it......i tink behind every happy face probably lies a whole bunch of problems.....everyone hav their own problems......damn it.....n if only my can be solved easily....but den again....then it wouldnt be called problems liao....hiazz....anyway got to get my ass to sch tomolo....lyk wth....doing pp again.....i hav deproved so much....how crap.....trng starts nxt week.....i hav to dig deep...nothing can stop mi......nothing will.....cos i hav a score to settle.....i cant admit defeat...never.....

n i was wondering wat sort of life i am leading is it normal? is it gd? i dunno....looking at mq life....all i can say tt it is a hell lot different from mine....i noe....and his room smells lyk australia....tt op.....never mind

i tink i noe y i want to create games already......i want to escape reality.....yup...n i want to give people an avenue to do tt to....n thru tt impart some of my thinking principles values to them.......tt it

i took a quiz out of sheer boredom......n i got my month correct.......how....damn xie men lor......wth......scary......but maybe there is some truth in it lol....chatting my time away

arghhhhhhhh i AM DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN BORED......

N horrrorrrrr.........pereira called my dad to talk abt GP...arghhhhh.....n i am suppose to see her again......i am suppose to see her 12349710 times since the start of the yr.....but i did not......i tink i hav to this time.....damn......n i hav her hw........WAT THE FUCK.....hav to pass up on monday WTFFFFF......hiazz.....i am so sick of sch

SCH SUX SUX SUX GO EAT SHIT

i need something to divert my attention...i shall go look for food......n i shall fuck someone.....rage n jealousy.......lol.......my life is my life again

damn u damn u damn u go to hell go and die.....

i am bored....how?!!?!?!?!?

my life is not mine......seriously......

i am so confused......i dunno wat the fuck u are talking abt......i hope tomorrow never come......pls.....fuck it.......btw.....i suddenly would lyk to cycle..i am damn bored......

went to downtown east wif mummy.....to literally eat time away.....according to derrick......i am fat LOL.........haha....i am so bored shit......n o am dreading sch.......SHIT...

and to add to things i want to know abt girls........

why do they like to do homework....even after exams..????
i shall go ask.......