Frats.

The morning thus far:

Read the Sunday Times...
Completed the last remainding bit of the Stanford Form Part 1...
Bummed around...

I never thought I had problems with integrity and with that I mean you can't really have problems with something you don't really have unless you find not having it a problem. =). Haha, just a joke lah.

Argh!!!!! Help! I am so in a fix.

The afternoon thus far:

Read a bit...just finished the book (2 13 PM)
Slept after lunch...

Heard and read about certain things that leave a sour taste in the mouth. Disillusion and depressed. Frats.

Getting back onto the road forward

The thought of staring down at and into your eyes, hollowing your heart with a piercing gaze makes the effort it takes to do so seemingly discounted. Squaring off face to face, so close that I hear your shallow breathing, so near that I study the creases on your face; nothing will ever be so painful and exciting.

A chance meeting, my friend, is all it takes.

***

Met up with several members of the T.T.C, the same old regular few that come for most outings anyway. Forgot to bring the camera again...and there goes one more outing undocumented. Hiaz.

Went to the Glass House for Fish & Co. Since that's such an iconic place and Singapore surely lack icons, it was darn crowded; the wait for a table was surprisingly short though. Great effort went into the decor to deceive the patrons they are in some sunny seaside beach place with a live band. The open concept kitchen, the antique weigh scale, the crates of fruits and vegetables all added to the conspiracy of the restuarant trying to cover up for something.

And it is bad food. I am sick of bad food. I will swear off mid-class diners that serve generic western crap like I swore off KFC. From now on, it's either palatable unqiue cuisine or your cheap tasty hawker fare.

The offending list includes: CAFE CARTEL, FISH & CO.

I am pretty sure more would be added soon.

Ended the day with a nice walk to Suntec through the sprawling SMU campus and city area. Alluring indeed.

Friday night and Saturday morning

I am pleasantly surprised that I woke up at 8 15 AM today with no ill effects of last night's chionging. =).

Booked out at 6 30 PM yesterday and walked the lovely IPPT route towards Lot 1 Shopping Mall together with some other coursemates. And I really meant it was lovely because the route is gonna sorta of guarantee me another extra $200 this coming Wednesday! Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

Along the way I saw many ODAC couples from the nearby Pioneer JC. What I think should be a run outside school turned out to be a lovers' walk. BTW, I heard from reliable sources that my school's ODAC has very good looking girls this year. Hiaz. I always lament the fact that I was born in the WRONG year. Damn.

Met up with Eddie as well as almost the 99.999% of SOCC at Lot 1. Haha. And for the first time I dined at AJISEN Restuarant. I ordered the $13.80 set that came with Volcano Ramen, Fried Prawns (side dish) and Iced Lemon Tea. Volcano Ramen was the hottest item on the menu with four frigging chillies beside its place in the menu and HENG the waitress offered to spearate the chili from the ramen because the BOWL of chili paste she gave me was INSANE.

I really should have brought the camera along. That fricking bowl is the largest bowl of chili paste I ever and will ever see. It's like one whole bottle of all those LEE KUM KEE paste you find in NTUC. Mad.

A very nice meal and chat otherwise...Eddie tried to add some colour to the event by kicking an ice cream tub (this is gonna sound so weird) of water (due to condensation from the air conditioner) placed on the floor at some lady. She threatened to explode but was kinda pacified by our apologises. Haha.

Went home thereafter for a shower, skillfully dodging my Mum's friends cun salespeople in the living room and headed for Shin's Bar at Boat Quay.

I gathered from some observation that:

I was the youngest there.
I was probably the smartest there as well. Hahahahah!
I was maybe the only non-smoker there.
And I was definitely in the only group with an Indian besides the guy in the toilet! Not racist here...seriously.

In between shouting to be heard and straining to hear, breathing in lots and lots of secondhand cigarette smoke and jugs of beer, I opened my eyes to a very different world. Just a note, Shin's bar must have lots of Andy Lau fans. Every alternate song was by Andy Lau, which is fine by me since I like his songs, but I can't say the same for the KTV singers...LOL.

So now I know what people do with time, money and loneliness. They just go out and meet other people with equal amounts of time and loneliness and have fun. I can't say the same for money though!!! On this track, I wonder how much I blew last night because I left at 1 30 AM while the rest were still at it, whatever 'it' is. Hopefully it doesn't burn to much of a hole in my pockets....=S.

I was saving some $$$ to my the Corrine May CD. =(. Shucks.

The crowd there wasn't too bad, a few hot girls and that's about it. =(. My bunkmate brought their friends along who knew more people there and the table just got into one big rojak mess. Nice to meet and see different kinds of people and do really brainless lame things though the I really haven't gotten the hang of 'doing chatting' a.k.a being sociable a.k.a talking to strangers since everyone was at least 4 years older than me and AGE GAP really existed. Hehe.

I don't think you get to know people in places like these anyway. You just know whether they are pretty or ugly. Right?

There was a pole on the bar but no one used it. So much for the hype of bar top dancing. Hmph.

After a few mugs of beer, couple of trips to the toilet, looking at how some drunk guys push each other and threat and taunt and get separated without fighting (an irritant as I was trying to get home at that point of time), I walked to the Clarke Quay MRT station and took the Nite Owl 174M home.

So hence concluded my first trip to a dingy-dodgy-cheena KTV bar.

Had a very sweet sleep.

Has been a long week...!

I booked into camp on Sunday for guard duty and it inspired this:

The resounding silence pierced by a yawn,
Weary from yester's bottle and strife,
Seeking solace in the darkness of dawn,
another page in the yellowed diary of life.

Ominous, fat dark clouds gather,
Boots grinding, I go in a trance.
Crackling and rustling Autumn leaves flutter,
As the rain gods do their dance.

She stood outside that green grimly fence,
Scorning and mocking the lonely guard.
Tears roll down his sullen ugly face,
For who knows what's deepest in his heart.

Jinxed with Devil's cursed luck,
Eternally the sad lonely guard.
He cusses 'Oh, what the fuck!'
for reality is just this hard.

You can't really ask me how I found time to write. Hahaha.

And I booked out yesterday at 6 30 PM after IPPT trial test (hit gold timing!), SOC (not bad as well), turn-out (highly amusing) and a series of boring lectures that I slept through (with eyes open...haha).

Don't rush your life!

Bus 178 is gay.

The total amount of waiting time for the to-and-fro trip was as long as the darn trips itself. And just now, I was on the verge of leaving the bus stop when I saw the bus arrive on the OPPOSITE side. Thankfully remembered that buses arrive on both sides of the route at about the same time and true enough, it did. =).

Class gathering was surprising rather fun! Quite a few number of people turned up and catching up is always interesting! But GUARD DUTY had to impose itself on me. =(.

I need to find the article about how Singaporeans live their lives. I suddenly find it very inspiring indeed.

***

Failed to find any old newspapers in the store room. I think my Mum sold them all to the karang guni man.

I think good pieces of writing/essays all come from a moment of brilliance or swell of emotion. And I would be needing it pretty soon.

The content is invariably similar throughout with ugly descriptions of events after events. No matter how impressive, it's just a pathetic advertisment for a place; a timeline of one's life.

Even the most outstanding of all achievements will be buried in lousy prose.

God bless me.

Darn and Argh

Current read


It's a lovely book; so enjoyable that I refused to go to Jurong Point with my Mum for lunch. Huddled in bed as the rain grew, I read until I fell into slumber.

Woke up at half past one and had lunch before continuing with the book. Alas, time is short.

Really shouldn't have given in to Sleep.

'The tallest buildings throw the longest Shadows (thus Great Men make their Mark by blocking out the Sun and, seeking Warmth themselves, cast Cold upon the rest).'

Wake me up when September ends...

Thunder, lightning and a drizzle was enough to make rush back from the library after just 30 minutes.

But I did find a couple of interesting reads by an author (Jim Crace) I have never known before. One of his books, Quarantine, won the Booker Prize as well as the Whitbread Novel of the Year. It's about Jesus and the religious overtones somehow makes me kinda apprehensive reading it. But I stil borrowed it anyway.

I am bored. =S. Still pondering whether to go for the class gathering later...

Gotta go settle a few important things today as well since DUTY calls tomorrow. Hiaz.

Cya later...

A testing week in camp indeed. But now that the week is over, who cares? Hahaha...

***

Cabbing has become my favourite mode of transport and it is no surprise that I took a taxi home from camp yesterday. I got on the wretch cab at 7 59 PM, which meant I had to pay the $1 surcharge that ended at 8 PM. =S.

Went out for dinner with my Mum at the nearby hawker centre before shopping for grocceries and I met my old friend way back from my RI days!

So we had a nice little chat all the way back since he only lives just 100 metres away from my place.

It's amazing how people can be so near each other yet not see each other for 99.9% of the time. Talking about living life in cages...

Week 22, here I come!

The system is merciless and that's the way it is.

You and I, borned into this system have only two choices; follow and excel within the system or leave the system and DON'T regret.

Trying to change the system is ultimately fultile and will result in wandering around with nothing to show at the end of your existence.

Unless you can put up with that, then you are doom for a lifetime of regret.

So with all the options laid on the table, which will you choose?

I haven't thought of this yet and changing the system isn't an option; this is not the Matrix and you are not Neo.

Yawn

Sunday is here and it marks the end of a rather subdued book out.

Still am in process of deciding whether to apply to new schools. What a bother, but a pleasant thing to muse about.

My brother popped into my room just now and was a little more than shock to see that I have to study for SAF TESTS even during book-outs. Considering that next week will be stolen by GUARD DUTY, I myself felt rather stupid doing so. I wonder how many of my other coursemates actually bother to pick up the notes to read.

Hiaz. That's the kinda things you do though, when you have nothing more important.

***

There must be a better way of eating McDonald's apple pie. It always EXPLODES the moment I bit it resulting in I having to clear up the mess. I suggest scaling down the width of the pie itself.

My brother seems to be very very supportive of me reapplying to schools.

***

This afternoon seems a bit slow and like yesterday, boring. Reading hasn't relieve the boredom a single bit. Argh.

I am drowsy after taking a ton of flu medicine.

But not drowsy enought to be free of the piercing pain.

Strike a chord?

I was blog surfing out of sheer boredom (mundane and urgent matters like studying for tests just irks me) and I chanced upon a lovely article.

Would have liked to link the article but decided against it because of its very volatile content. Dangerous posts shouldn't be traced back to me. =D.

Anyway, in this recently concluded week, my platoon mates (not sure whether to use 'friends') said a couple of things about me while we were indulging in those in-the-middle-of-lessons-talk-cock-session-with-massive-laughing.

I, as usual, was playing the clown, making light of things that normally would get me down on a quiet night alone. They said:

I was like a movie...
I talk like I am speaking into a camera...
I am warped...
etc etc etc...

I don't think they realise that I mean everything I say and am inclined to think that dreaming is just the first step to greater things. Between the line of irrationality and determination to chase the dream, I believe that I am on the right side because I know of someone who have crossed that line and gone insanity, but he/she shall not be named.

I don't really mind people not believing in me because it makes them even more surprised later on. Just that things take time and I'm not fond of waiting.

However, as a buddy put it, revenge wears no wristwatch.

The day after: Saturday

Today is the birthday of two of my oldest and closest friends so here is a open happy birthday wish to both of them! Really hope that their nineteeth year would be a memorable one for them!

***

Woke up at 8 AM today and checked the web for some information on US universities, studied some of the wretch CSE stuff for the test on Monday and went on my weekly trip to the library.

The library was as usually packed with people already and I borrowed one of the recommended books-Behind the Red Mist.

Took longer than usually to decide on what to have for lunch shuttling between the hawker centre, some place selling Japanese food, KFC, McDonald's and JLS, but finally settled for some take-away hawker fare. I thought that a proper lunch was in order

Right now, I am watching Hiroshima on CNA; a lovely documentary about the atomic bomb.

Just another day in my book-out.

Feeling sleepy now...the flu hasn't leave me totally yet.

***

I asked my platoon mate what's interesting in Singapore besides going to town, which I don't think is that interesting anyway.

On Thursday, he told me fishing
Yesterday before lunch, he told me fishing
After lunch, he told me fishing



=S

SICK

I thought that I could either report sick in camp and take an MC or get well before bookout.

But no!

So fuck it.

Add to my current miserable condition (flu), I have a SHIT load of tests/exams to study for next week.

KNN.

[Still feeling unwell and bored. It's always nice to see your surname floating around on the net. =).]

?

Happy 40th Birthday Singapore! I love you to bits!

the wish along the way

a little hope never hurts.
floating about,
like castles in the sky.

in Neverland,
they come true,
where the skies are blue
and the grass is green.

the wish fluttered along,
time frozen,
heart skipping a beat.

a cold draught,
tingling at the strings.
disappointment,
in the hollow steps


Another fine day, another National Day. Happy birthday Singapore. But I can't muster the strength to watch the parade.

Finest weather in the year.

Celebration@Heartlands

I am peeved because all my posts are nothing appearing!

Went down to the fun fair and there wasn't anything much. 11 AM is probably too early for the rest of Singaporeans who just had a long weekend, National Day Eve bash and still have Tuesday and Wednesday to slack off. =S.

On the way back, I meet the kind folks of my BMT mate and what seems like a pretty girl.

I guess some things are better of left status quo.

***
1 22 AM. Friggin bored. Just realised that I have a couple, A COUPLE of friggin tests/exams coming soon and I friggin don't know any shit. Argh. Pissed.

Accounting

I couldn't never, for the life of me, figure out how Starhub structures its customers handphone bill.

But being thrown a $84++ bill was more than enough reason to go figure it out. And after about 30 minutes, I still am rather, but certainly less than before, muddled.

I guess I need to call them up.

***

What should I do?

A world with too much happiness is a world too bland.

Currently finding it difficult to move my lazy bum of the chair and onto the bed. What should I do?

FUCK.

THE most fucked up National Day Eve.

THE most fucked up day.

THE most fucked up haircut.

THE most fucked up barber.

THE most fucked up $8 spent.

THE most fucked up mistake.

Last post just for the record.

Am almost certainly sure that I would be here tomorrow night...bye.

I predict a rather hectic night and day before book out, but I can't begin to tell you how glad I am to have National Day. For once in my life, I feel more patriotic than usual and it has to do with getting away from NS.

God's making a joke of me.

***

We must always remember those who wronged us, always.

for a lack of a better title

I have been reading and reading since I woke up at 9 AM this morning. I finished Harry Potter, which took a thoroughly enjoyable 6 hours to complete and the Sunday Times, just a while ago.

So the day has almost passed without me spending a cent.

Harry Potter was nice. I like it when I am taken far far away from the realities of this imperfect world and immersed into one that I would rather much be in. But that's just wishful thinking on my part, and I know that. Finishing a book always has that sort of effect on me...

***

It's scary how smarter people think of others and I have been, to my best of knowledge, always trying to resist falling into that trap. Kinda implies that I think I am smarter but I don't mean that. Let's move on...

Those things will never happen in a million years, so what's the point of wasting my time reading them?

The practicality of people is astoundingly cruel. I wonder if it is so criminal as to permit yourself to have a dream just once in a while...So what if it doesn't happen? What about the high ideals of living the dream? I really don't understand people these days. Really...I am just a bit taken aback that at age 12, kids are just too adult-ish already. What's the world becoming to?

Make friends who are your equal or better

I make friends with people I like. Self improvement isn't really on the agenda, at least that's for my case. What's yours? Noble thinking at work again...and totally being crushed by the practicality of the real world. I have been told, vaguely more than once, that the company you keep always matters. I found that out a bit too late...or rather chose not to think about it until it is too late. The lure of being a rebel and maverick can't be more appealing to me.

They will drag you down to the dumps

Oh yes. True, true. It takes an extraordinary man to shift between the circles of the boorish (I wonder what's the name of the director who used it on me, would like to find it out.) and refined. But I prefer Hokkien to French. Stereotyping, but essential to get my point across.

[Just to sidetrack: I pity not taping down the interview. It would be a useful lesson in time to come.]

In National Service. It was boring. You can quote me on that, man. National Service was a waste of my life.

Couldn't agree more. So sweetly apt that I have to resist the urge to cry. If only it was just a waste...the damage would be irreversible. Really.

***

The day when I go against all these will come sooner or later. And I dread the day, but such is the practicality of life

***

And I know that I let you go out of foolishness and stupidity but it was really because of nobility even though just a wee bit. Can't afford to waste anyone's life huh? Gee...I feel I am rather generous at times.

***

We always felt that way whenever we have to do it, makes it more acceptable, more courageous and all the more necessary.

It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?

I've got things to do alone now.

***

I have always secretly hid that thought inside somewhere between the brain and the heart. Feels good to let it out once in a while.

Or is it? Or is it? Or is it? What if it is wrong? I don't know. I am confused. Argh.

***

Booking in at 10 30 PM tonight. Very grateful for National Day. Cya tomorrow night.

No pride, life would easy!

Sometimes, I laugh at myself for dreaming too much and too far.

Should have been born without a brain...

7 swords

from the esplanade...

I caught the film against the warnings of the critics and I must say it was not as bad as they made it out to be. According to my friend, the show was originally 4 hours long and got cut until 2.5 hours which might explain why it is rather patchy and incoherent...

But how wrong can you get with sex scenes and sword fighting? Hahaha.

Dropped by the food place beside DXO after the show and boy was it crowded...not unlike EVERYWHERE in that area. From Citylink to Marina Bay to the Esplanade, people were just moving in swarms. I guess everyone is in the festive mood since National Day is coming up...except for me.

There was this rock group playing just by the marina bay and they were totally cool...I wonder if I would be able to catch them next week.

***

Photo taking today was horrible and so were the photos, including the one above. Pui, yucks.

***
Realised that I can see many pretty things from my house. I should photograph them sometime soon.

If you forgot your ATM card's PIN,

...you should try finding it out at the EZ-LINK Top-Up machines because your card won't be retained no matter how many times you try, the worst thing that happens is you spend some money topping up your card and you don't need to join in the ridiculously long queues outside the ATM machines during weekends.

Which brings me back to the mystery of why the heck everyone willingly queue up for several minutes to draw money on a weekend day in day out...WEIRD.

BTW, only POSB machines are so croweded.

SHIT.

Nonononono! I woke up at 10 30 AM today instead of 6 30 AM. =(.

I guess that kinda cuts my book-out time by 4 hours. Frats. I have been waiting for the weekend all week and definitely don't plan on sleeping so much...PISSED!!!!

Yesterday, after I stepped out of the gates of camp:

I meet TB at the nearby Mosque
Hopped on to a cab with him and Enhui and rushed home
Gave Enhui a little tour of my hew house while TB went blog surfing
Ordered Pizza for dinner and had a after-dinner chat
Washed up after both of them left and watched INFERNAL AFFAIRS
Read Harry Potter and went to sleep at 12 30 AM

Oh well. Sucks.

Just had pizza with some of my friends in the comfort of my own living room...

What a start to the weekend!

***

Finished watching the VCDs (Infernal Affairs) that my brother kindly loan on my behalf. The show really brought home the point with Kelly Chen as the psychologist...amongst other important moral issues as well...=).

I am leading a very sinful life. Off to get some reading (Harry Potter) done!