Quarter Life Crisis

Yes, I am damn sure of it.

Movies, books and games are all different ways of achieving the same aim. Do I need to say anything more?

Now reading: Never Let Me Go

***

The cycle of reading, getting drowsy then sleeping never seems to stop and for the god-knows-how-many consecutive day, I slept away the better part of the afternoon.

My Dad is now ordering some food to entertain his friends later, after coming back home from getting dinner and a new black ink cartridge for the printer. Somehow, this Chinese New Year seems like a muted affair. And to top it all off, I am going back to camp later in the evening-with much reluctance.

The camera has been sitting on its shelf for too long a time and I think the perfect cure to this rather dismay CNY would be to go to the River Hongbao celebrations down at the Esplanade. Hehehe.

Now to actually find the time to go there...

***

Reviewed some of my New Year Resolutions as well and am not surprised that I haven't made much headway. Haha.Better buck up!

Bored

My relatives just left and I am back to being more than a little bored.

Then I noticed a new clock in my parents' bedroom and it had a rather odd feature for a clock. A countdown function! Not those countdown timers where it runs at most only for 24 hours, but a proper countdown like those you and I would do when major exams approach.

Haha.

So after fiddling with it a while, I managed to get the clock to countdown the days to 5th November 2006. I felt really pleased and satisfied with myself looking at the 278 days left reflected on the clock face. I think I was grinning to the clock like a moron. =)!

That's until my Mum asked me what I was going to do after ORD-ing and suggested I stay on.

What audacity! HMPH!

Day 2 of Chinese New Year

Back to slightly more mundane but necessary stuff. Work, work, work. Sian! =(.

There are still a few places I wish to go before this festive period is over. The temple at Bugis, the River Hongbao and the other o-biang places that some in my generation would crinkle to hear. Haha. But I like!

And ah, I somehow managed to finish 'Memoirs of the Geisha'. Now for the movie...It kinda saddens me that a book so real is actually a work of fiction. Hiaz.

Happy Chinese New Year!

I hope for a peaceful year ahead!

And to sleep less. I am turning into a pig already! =S.

I could have been holding a file filled with mugging notes, dressed in jeans and shirts and sandals and stroll down the road after classes to chill out in town-dinner/shop/catch a moive.

I could be laughing, giggling and talking in that high and loud voice that one who use whenver one feels carefree.

But life doesn't always go as plan.

I am in a dirty smoking corner breathing in secondhand smoke dealing with people older than me. I juggle with office politics, a demnding boss and my own principles. I use their vuglar language, their lingo and their curses. I become one of them.

Yet, from time to time, I feel a tingle of excitement. Why is this happening?

What a difference...

I am so exhuasted recently that I hit the sack the moment I get home.

Thank god CNY is here and that means a breather and some time to indugle myself. It's awful to have your mind clouded with work all the time! So for this 4 days, it will be nothing but fun, fun and more fun.

Ah. I love CNY. =).

Routine stuff

Work is really not easy at times. Surprisingly though, today my boss told me to take a day off this Friday.

Weird things always happen huh?

***

Have been so busy lately that I haven't even read the birthday card she gave me. Not sure if I have misplaced it! I think a 'thank you' note is in order.

***

CNY is coming!

I need to slow down

I am writing because I don't want to forget how my life turned out to be the way it is some years down the road.

One year ago, I made a decision that I have to stick with for probably a good part of the coming years. I always had the impression things...

Ah, I can't write this one down.

***

Anyway, just watched Spiderman 2 and it was a great show.

There is something unmistakably human in crowds.

I was at Bugis yesterday for dinner and spent some time roaming the mall while waiting for my friend to turn up. It was packed. Real packed. Lights, noise, smells, jostling, chattering. Short, fat, tall, thin, pretty, ugly. Countless of human shapes passing me as I stood by a corner.

Vibrant in a word and I like that.

***

Haven't been exercising since last Friday. I think it's time for a workout.

***

Still coming to terms with the new age, and the past age-the teenage years, that is.

***
1:26 PM. So bored that I tried to sleep in an attempt to speed up the day. Life consist of slumping in bed, eyes glued to the cable TV or something equally useless and unhealthy. This cannot do. It's January of 2006 for Christ's sakes.

Argh. Shall exercise later.

20

So yesterday wasn't all that bad, but not great as well.

Thanks to all who sent me their wishes! They made my day.

Anyhow, I have a whole day ahead of me so it's time to get some reading done and while away time doing whatever I want.

Business that belongs to the office, stays there. =).

Lalalalala...

***

It's a boring Saturday. Time to get a shower and kick start the day!

Happy Birthday to me

It's tough working.

Too dulan to say anything.

Last Day of the Teens

It's not everyday you live your last day as a teenager.

Work has been so overwhelming recently that I hardly have anytime for myself. Not that I do not enjoy having new stuff to do everyday, just that I kinda felt sorry for myself at times-I am not moving ahead in life.

Hiaz.

Have been missing the morning PT exercises because of the exercise. The last time I ran was on Friday. Haha.

***

I don't think I lived my teenage years as I should have.

Exhausted

Work has been very demanding recently. It has reached a point when even at home I just want to hit the bed and get some rest. No blogging, no exercising, no watching the TV.

I never knew why people can be too tired to have sex until now.

And since I am turning 20 soon, I find it apt to remind myself to be courteous to people. Far too often, I come away from meetings thinking if I have offended other parties.

Gayness

What should have taken one try and 45 minutes dragged on to occupy most of the morning. I took the Basic Theory Test Evaluation this morning at 8 AM and failed by a measly 4 marks. You have to get 63/70 or 90% to pass the wretch thing. Went out of the room feeling stupid and decided to book the next slot at 9:50 AM to get it over and done with today-I passed with 99% on the second try.

The point here being the two tests were of such different standards that it invariably leads me to think that BBDC is trying to scam me of $3.15 and a couple of hours of my time. Or blame my luck on getting sucky questions the first time.

***

Between the tests, I tried to walk off my sore knee. It ain't working.

***

Sunday, what should I do?

Shag ah!

The weekend is here!

Feeling very wasted now after the soccer session in the morning. Argh. I really am in poor shape.

***
The monsoon season is rather irritating. I was planning on going out for the night but ended up sleeping instead because the rain was a total turnoff. And when I have nothing else better to do, work just keeps swirling in my mind.

Shits.

***

StarMovies screen the weirdest shows. I was watching '28 days later' which is kinda like Resident Evil and it actually has two endings. Just finished the first ending...now waiting for the second one.

Dinner at Yunnan Garden Restuarant

A very very expensive place

that sells

very very normal food. What you just saw, cost about $130. =S.

Has been raining continuously for a couple of days already. Where's the sun when you need it?

I wonder what goes on during Hari Raya Haji. Sure feels just like another Tuesday to me, without work.

Probably have to escape the house for a while later and get a calender while I am at that.

In limbo

Awfully lousy weather today. It was cold, windy and raining since last night. And having laksa at 1 AM in Clementi followed by a 3 hour nap in the backseat in preparation for today's exercise isn't exactly the best cure for the flu I am having now.

Got home at 11 AM, have been alternating between the computer, television and the bed. Argh.

Drink, Drank, Drunk.

So the induction program ended.

When you are drunk, your world spins in a very slow way. Actions and words no longer are important; everything is forgotten and you just smile happily to yourself in the mirror. You giggle and laugh and do silly things that a somber you won't even think of doing. But you still feel happy.

Being drunk means the past is past and the future is the future. And the only thing that matters is now, the present. No worries, no anger, no saddness, no dejection. Some might go to the extent of saying bliss is what being drunk is.

I want to live life a drunkard.

***

The next day though, your world comes crashing down. Fuck. It's a Saturday, I haven't been home for 4 days and 3 nights and even today they are depriving me of my own bed. Fuck.

I want to be at peace with myself

the new zen corner in my home

#2

for a small measure of peace that so many seek, yet so little find

***

My new year resolutions of course follow how most people would do up theirs. 1)...2)...3)...A list of things hopefully to be achieved in the coming year. I don't have my 2005 ones with me right now so I can't tell you how good I'm at keeping resolutions.

This year, however, in addition to that really mundane list of things, I have come up with a nice one liner to sum them all up. And that is...

i want to be at peace with myself.

To me, the beauty of it is it's all encompassing. From forgiving people who let me down, to being contented and happy with how life is, to fulfilling my life philosophy of pushing limits and not regretting...

Being at peace with myself means that...and more.

***

I am left with two drawers to go through. One with all the important documents like certificates, results slips and so on. the other with all the important memories of cards, notes, letters and gifts from friends and ex-friends.

Right now, I have to go get a haircut and return the library books.

Lonely Meat Eaters (Don't ask why. Haha)

New Year's Dinner, Outback Steakhouse. The australian influence was evident from the decor and menu. Still have a queue outside even after we left at 8 PM.

Sizziling Sirloin, $22.90. I felt it was a bit pricey considering the small portion of beef and the less than breath taking taste. Could have been possibly mixed up with beef drenched in teriyaki sauce.

Just another view of my dinner...

BBQ Chicken Quarter. Presentation wise, a little bare. One of the specials of the restuarant.

From left, clockwise: Outback Steak (11-ounce), BBQ Chicken Quarter and Sizzling Sirloin. The dinner amounted to around $70.

Outback steak. I've got a feeling the restuarant made a mistake with this one. The steak was too raw for what was suppose to be medium done. I shall spare you the gore though. Haha. The baked potato had cheese inside (Unique!) and could have been swapped for mash potato, salad, chips or colesaw.

2nd Jan

Slept at 4 AM, woke up at 11 AM and have been busy cleaning my room. The task is still not done yet, and won't be so for quite some time. But I feel I have done enough to warrent a break from the mindless work and to continue another day.

There is still much to do today. My whiteboard is covered with checklists of what needs to be accomplished before UIP starts and my freedom gets stolen yet again...at least it's only for about a week this time around.

Speaking of UIP, what a bothersome, senseless thing to have. I dislike being treated like a dog. And more so, I hate it when people say 'Just lan lan do it,' because that equals to being in a powerless position and submitting to someone else's will. I wonder how can I reconcile this thought with my new year resolution of being positive about things. Impossible at first sight, but we will see...

Time for some music.

First day of the Year

I went out today to give myself a little treat, in line with it being the new year and all.

Had dinner with two other friends, the meal I will blog about tomorrow because I am far too tired now. Prior to that, I did my book-shopping at Times and finally got hold of copies of 'Never Let Me Go' and 'Norwegian Wood'. A bit of an indulgence since I believe both are available at the library.

Right now, I can do with a good shower, a glass of water and my copy of 'When We Were Orphans'. I still have about 60 odd pages to go.

Tomorrow, spring cleaning, making of resolutions and all those other new-year-stuff will have to be done...Shag ah!